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8.
To engage in the act of masturbation whilst defecating.
This is a big poo, I might be here a while. I think I'll have a wee little wank to pass the time. I love a good Ponk.
by Wanna Ponk? November 11, 2010
 
9.
A nonsense word used for log output in computer programs to assure application support teams that the application is actually still running and has not jammed, as they inevitably suspect.
...
10/10/2010 04:02:07 INFO Loading the thing from the place
10/10/2010 04:31:05 INFO Thing loaded
10/10/2010 04:31:06 WARN Wizards and Elves notified using SNMP - elves.hither.yon:public
10/10/2010 04:32:25 DEBUG sql: {select 'fish' from 'trousers' where 'dave' = 'ferret';}. Waiting for next trigger time.
10/10/2010 04:40:00 INFO PONK!
10/10/2010 04:50:00 INFO PONK!
10/10/2010 05:00:00 INFO PONK!
10/10/2010 05:10:00 INFO PONK!
...
by NaughtyJim October 21, 2010
 
10.
Someone who keys your car
'Did you see what he's done to my car?'
'Yeah, I know, what a ponk!'
by yoghurt3457 March 26, 2010
 
11.
a) all swears and demeaning words mixed into one word to exress anger.

b)When a person is puttng you down and he has all ready said fu*k you gaylord, and you need the "shut this mother fu*cker down" come back.

a) teahcer: who does things you don't what them to do
you: omg this teachers a fu*king ponk

b) burn fest.....
them: oh fu*k you gaylord....
you: yeah fu*k me, oh no fu*k you ponk
them: o.k. (really thinking sh*t)
by stricky August 31, 2007
 
12.
v. To smack someone else on the nose. Usually accompanied by saying the word, "Ponk!"
(Girl smacks boy on the nose)
Girl: Ponk!
Boy: Oh my god, I am so gonna ponk you for that!
by townloony September 05, 2008
 
13.
To Ponk; break wind; guff; cut loose; freep; clear the room.

A term used to excuse ones having committed any of the above.

A 'Ponker' may also be referred to as a 'Ponkertron', 'Ponkee' or 'Ponk-monster'.
After dropping an earth shatteringly loud and subsequently ethnically cleansing stench while being interviewed on the Michael Parkinson show.

You: Ponk! Do excuse me Michael.

Michael Parkinson: You Ponker!
by BigDim February 19, 2008
 
14.
v.)to burn by a use of a racial or sexual comment
-dude! that was amazing!
-ur mom was amazing! O, u just got ponked!
by mcfizzy July 10, 2008