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To engage in the act of masturbation whilst defecating.
This is a big poo, I might be here a while. I think I'll have a wee little wank to pass the time. I love a good Ponk.
by Wanna Ponk? November 11, 2010
A nonsense word used for log output in computer programs to assure application support teams that the application is actually still running and has not jammed, as they inevitably suspect.
10/10/2010 04:02:07 INFO Loading the thing from the place
10/10/2010 04:31:05 INFO Thing loaded
10/10/2010 04:31:06 WARN Wizards and Elves notified using SNMP - elves.hither.yon:public
10/10/2010 04:32:25 DEBUG sql: {select 'fish' from 'trousers' where 'dave' = 'ferret';}. Waiting for next trigger time.
10/10/2010 04:40:00 INFO PONK!
10/10/2010 04:50:00 INFO PONK!
10/10/2010 05:00:00 INFO PONK!
10/10/2010 05:10:00 INFO PONK!
by NaughtyJim October 21, 2010
Someone who keys your car
'Did you see what he's done to my car?'
'Yeah, I know, what a ponk!'
by yoghurt3457 March 26, 2010
a) all swears and demeaning words mixed into one word to exress anger.

b)When a person is puttng you down and he has all ready said fu*k you gaylord, and you need the "shut this mother fu*cker down" come back.

a) teahcer: who does things you don't what them to do
you: omg this teachers a fu*king ponk

b) burn fest.....
them: oh fu*k you gaylord....
you: yeah fu*k me, oh no fu*k you ponk
them: o.k. (really thinking sh*t)
by stricky August 31, 2007
v. To smack someone else on the nose. Usually accompanied by saying the word, "Ponk!"
(Girl smacks boy on the nose)
Girl: Ponk!
Boy: Oh my god, I am so gonna ponk you for that!
by townloony September 05, 2008
To Ponk; break wind; guff; cut loose; freep; clear the room.

A term used to excuse ones having committed any of the above.

A 'Ponker' may also be referred to as a 'Ponkertron', 'Ponkee' or 'Ponk-monster'.
After dropping an earth shatteringly loud and subsequently ethnically cleansing stench while being interviewed on the Michael Parkinson show.

You: Ponk! Do excuse me Michael.

Michael Parkinson: You Ponker!
by BigDim February 19, 2008
v.)to burn by a use of a racial or sexual comment
-dude! that was amazing!
-ur mom was amazing! O, u just got ponked!
by mcfizzy July 10, 2008