the growing epidemic of people being raped by polar bears. if you see a polar bear acting in a seductive manner stay calm and don't show any signs of returning those feelings, because you will be raped.
Old man: I was out in the frozen tundra of alaska with my friend Mantuck hunting alpaca when we saw a person getting raped by a polar bear.
Old man: then when I was sleeping the polar bear raped me. When i called the police they said they couldn't help.
Paid actor: Polar Bear rape is a growing epidemic and needs to be taken seriously