Is this guy serious? He's got to be a poe.
"Sorry, my dealer was busy reading Poe, bettering himself and society."
A person who enjoys reading and/or writing morbid, dark, tenebrous, profound literature. The term comes from the name of an American poet Edgar Allan Poe. He is known for writing such literature. A Poe is not necessarily Goth or Emo. A Poe can be outwardly cheerful. Literature written and read by a Poe follows the general styles, methods, or themes of Edgar Allan Poe's poems.
Literature read/written by a Poe:
-may cause the reader to suffer emotionally through the main character or speaker, sometimes in cases in which the story/poem ends abruptly leaving some aspect of the main character’s emotions to the imagination of the reader
-may cause the reader to empathize with the main character or speaker and endure a negative emotion
-may let the reader believe that a specific thing is occurring and then, near or at the end, shock the reader by revealing that something else is happening, especially with a single sentence or phrase
-may employ elements not listed that are consistent with the given description of a Poe
Person2: "The one in which the newfound love interest dies?"
Person1: "Yeah, what's up with that?!"
Person2: "The writer's a Poe."
Person1: "Really? But that kid seems so happy all the time."