The platonic idea of love is non-physical, so there’s a natural irony in this kind of thing. The word platonic with the word blowjob is automatically an oxymoron. So, the platonic blowjob is a particular kind of act between two people who claim to be friends yet are sexually dependant on one and other (either by desire or sudden necessity). In other words, it’s a kind of booty call where one sucks the cock of the other to save or strengthen the friendship.
Amy: What do you think are the political ramifications of China switching to nuclear power?
Mj: Hey, Amy, I’m sorry but I’m too horny too listen. I think I’m going to have to booty call my ex or hit on that pig drinking by herself over by the pool table.
Amy: No, don’t leave me alone.
Well, then what?
I have an idea! I’ll give you a platonic blowjob!
(Amy drops to her knees in front of MJ mphhhphh mphph mphphphhphhhhhh)
Ah, thanks. I think that China modernizing to all nuclear reactors will have a profound impact on the price of oil. It will drop . . .
(an example of a friendship saved by the Platonic Blowjob)
John: Are you dating Amy?
MJ: No, I like drinking with her.
John: Aha. She's been giving you platonic blowjobs, hasn't she? What a pig!
Mj: Hey, Amy, I’m sorry but I’m too horny too listen. I think I’m going to have to booty call my ex or hit on that pig drinking by herself over by the pool table.
Amy: No, don’t leave me alone.
Well, then what?
I have an idea! I’ll give you a platonic blowjob!
(Amy drops to her knees in front of MJ mphhhphh mphph mphphphhphhhhhh)
Ah, thanks. I think that China modernizing to all nuclear reactors will have a profound impact on the price of oil. It will drop . . .
(an example of a friendship saved by the Platonic Blowjob)
John: Are you dating Amy?
MJ: No, I like drinking with her.
John: Aha. She's been giving you platonic blowjobs, hasn't she? What a pig!
by Pigslut Master March 16, 2008
An act of fellatio given as a non-sexual reward for accomplishing a difficult task. The reason for fellatio rather than a material reward stems from the absolute truth that fellatio is awesome. It is generally reserved for monumental feats of accomplishment - ex. landing a major client account in record time, where the potential client was leaning away from ones firm.
This blowjob is non-sexual. No attraction need (or should) exist between the giver and receiver. Receipt or gift of a PBJ is not considered homosexual if given between males, but ONLY if the PBJ is given for a legitimately monumental achievement.
This blowjob is non-sexual. No attraction need (or should) exist between the giver and receiver. Receipt or gift of a PBJ is not considered homosexual if given between males, but ONLY if the PBJ is given for a legitimately monumental achievement.
Jerry: I landed the VCorp account overnight - and they were even thinking of going with the other guys!
Rob: Jerry, that's amazing. We've had sales team after sales team tell us that account was impossible! And I just assigned it to you three days ago! Tell you what, meet me in my office. You've earned a Platonic Blowjob!
Alice: Tim, I can't believe you were able to complete the entire backup automation in two hours. It even tags changes and encrypts everything! Tomorrow morning, I'll see you in your cube for a PBJ.
Rob: Jerry, that's amazing. We've had sales team after sales team tell us that account was impossible! And I just assigned it to you three days ago! Tell you what, meet me in my office. You've earned a Platonic Blowjob!
Alice: Tim, I can't believe you were able to complete the entire backup automation in two hours. It even tags changes and encrypts everything! Tomorrow morning, I'll see you in your cube for a PBJ.
by ffoodd October 13, 2009