While your female companion is sleeping, you jack-off onto one of her eyes without disturbing her. When she wakes up you convince her that it's actually a really bad eye infection and get her to go to the doctor. She is then humiliated when the nurse, staff and doctor inform her it is not an eye infection at all, just dried semen. A good way to break up with a chick.
She wouldn't let me watch the game last night, so I gave her a Pink Eye Send Off, and threw all her clothes in the yard this morning while she was at the doctor.