A philophiliac is a person who likes to sleep with dead philosophers. Because of this disease they are often found to be hanging around graveyards (especially at night). Berkeley’s grave has been dug up numerous times and is one of the hardest hit philosophers. Yet despite this, sightings of philophiliacs are rare and often do not provide any conclusive evidence of their identities. Whilst the problem is a fairly recent on, graves all over the globe have been affected. Ayer and Turing have both had their graves desecrated and as a result Searle has been put into high security to ensure that nobody attempts to kill him with the intention of ‘visiting’ his grave later. Obviously this is a serious problem and the people who suffer from it need psychiatric help. Nevertheless, should you see a suspicious figure lurking around a philosopher’s grave, please ring the police.
Over there by the grave! Is it a dog? Is it a mourner? No, it's a philophiliac!