|1.||Perth and Portsmouth|
An affliction of the stomach normally caused by the eating of dodgy kebabs and the like, causing simultaneous sickness and diarrhea.
The location of projectiles from the human body mirroring the locations of aforementioned towns on a UK map.
Erik "What was wrong with you yesterday"
Norman "I had a dodgy takeaway on Sunday which din't half give me some jip the following morning"
Erik "oh Aye, how bad was it"
Norman "It wasn't good, it was Perth and Portsmouth"