A topical lubricating cream that when applied liberally and rubbed vigourously over a man's penis will provide short term relief of the reoccurring itch to masturbate.
Man, "Doc you gotta help me, I have this itch all the time"
Doc, "Where does it prickle son"
Man. "Its my dick, it's yearning"
Doc. "Rx for Penisil, apply when required but no more than 5 times a day"
Man, "For how long?"
Doc, "FOREVER, there is no cure!"
Later that day....
AHHH, that's better. With that out of the way I am a fun guy again.