look up any word, like sparkle pony:
 
39.
The appendage used to penetrate a vagina, causing an embryo, therefore a fetus to pop out in 9 months, which eventually resembles a baby....

baby-maker
bell on a pole
bishop
bratwurst
cock
custard launcher
dick
dickie
ding dong mcdork
dong
donger
dork
dragon
errector
fang
ferret
fire hose
heat-seeking moisture missile
hose
Jimmy
John
John Thomas (dated)
joystick
knob
leaky hose
lingam
little Bob
little Elvis
longfellow
love muscle
manhood
meaty
meat popsicle
member
middle stump
monkey
Mr. Squirked
mushroom head
mutton
old boy
old fellow
old man
one-eyed snake
one-eyed trouser-snake
one-eyed monster
pecker
peepee (children's term)
Percy
peter
piss weasle
prick
private part
purple-helmeted warrior of love
purple-headed yogurt flinger
rod
roundhead
sausage
schlong
schmuck, shmuck (Yiddish)
schwanz
schwarz
short arm
skin flute
tassle
third leg
thumper
todger (Australia, UK)
tonk
tool
trouser snake
tubesteak
wang
wang dudle
wick
willy (children's term)
yingyang
yogurt gun
In front of the whole class, Mrs. Johnson said to her student Johnny, stop mastrubating, or I'll rip off your penis and feed it to little Susie over here
by Adam Goldsteinberger June 04, 2007
 
22.
a long shaft connected to a set of dangly balls that provides pleasure through friction.
damnnn that penis' friction felt good
by adidas May 28, 2003
 
23.
The only thing that all men are vain about.
Michael measures his penis every week and posts the results on his website. Of course, he adds five inches when he posts them.
by Fork You December 09, 2004
 
24.
The thing that men often mistake for their brain.
"He was only thinking with his penis when he married her."
by faerie princess January 19, 2009
 
25.
Here are some popular synonyms of 'penis' used in the US
(from condom slogans):
1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!
Your penis can't think - your brain should do it.
by alvit June 30, 2009
 
26.
Because of having these, males use them as an excuse to watch sport instead of chick-flicks, buy beer instead of nice wine and not ring when they say they are going to.
Sally: "Call me tomorrow!"
Bob: "Ok"

Next day...
Bob: remembers he has a penis, does not call Sally.
by Pink Knickerz January 05, 2004
 
27.
1. The reason teen boys are so happy all the time.

2. The reason teen boys do so much laundry and take so many showers.
I just cant stop Wanking my penis, i go through like 20 socks a week. -Jimmy
by Billy Buttfuck September 01, 2007
 
28.
An attempted humorous pluralization of the word "penis". As with other words from Latin that end with "is", such as "crisis" and "neurosis", "penis" changes the "is" to "es", forming "penes", as "crisis" changes to "crises" and "neurosis" to "neuroses". Only urologists and a handful of other professionals use the word "penes", however, so it is best to stick to the English plural, "pensises".
Duh, where'd all the vaginae and peni go?
by atemperman January 24, 2004