The "USA Patriot Act" stands for " Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism".

It is a document 342 pages in length with the first 6 pages being the index. The first line after the index is this:

SEC. 2. CONSTRUCTION; SEVERABILITY. Any provision of this Act held to be invalid or unenforceable by its terms, or as applied to any person or circumstance, shall be construed so as to give it the maximum effect permitted by law, unless such holding shall be one of utter invalidity or unenforceability, in which event such provision shall be deemed severable from this Act and shall not affect the remainder thereof or the application of such provision to other persons not similarly situated or to other, dissimilar circumstances.

(This amounts to saying that if this bill is a total crock of shit, with only one tiny detail being applicable, that shred will send you to the cooler pal!)

Like most bills which our senators and representative are "supposed" to read and understand prior to signing off, it could take a very long time to either agree or disagree with what's written. Thus we get this sort of bullshit shoved down our throats and up our asses on a continuous basis.

No doubt, this bill like many others was well intended, I hope, but has sweeping consequenses that only the best lawyers in the world will ever understand completely.
Hey Clyde! Watch out buddy, you just farted on US soil, you may be prosecutable under the USA Patriot Act!
by Ibinfarteen July 03, 2004
A very kinky, very sexy and extremely patriotic sex act that you should be proud of achieving if you pull it off, man or woman. See American Pounding.
Boy, the Government has nothin' on THIS Patriot Act! I came buckets!
by SHITCOCK March 12, 2015
when a guy takes one for the team by having sex with an ugly chick but wrapping an american flag over her face
dude i should have patriot act this girl in the bar i met but i was so hammered to notice her face
by rente2121 October 19, 2009
Find yourself a liberal, then convince her to have sex with you. Pound her vagina until she bleeds or while she is having her period. Just before you ejaculate your gorilla juice pull it out, wipe your dick on her face. Then nut on top of her face and finish up with a punch to the eye...Then state "Big Brother is watching you!!"
After Obama's Election I went around giving the Patriot Act to all the retards that had a stupid smile on their faces.
by i;hfdWH January 21, 2009
Legislation designed to protect the American people from terrorism. Often criticized by the left and those who have something to hide. (see terrorist)
Leftist college student: The Patriot Act is choking our liberties.

Me: Your liberties are not being choked. If what you said was true, the FBI would be down here and arrest you for saying stuff like that.

Student: That just what that fascist Bush wants you to believe.

Me: He's not a fascist. Fascists want to take your guns away. Republicans and conservatives value gun ownership. It is the democrats and the liberals who want to take your guns away. They are the real fascists.

Students: Uh, pardon me, fascism is right wing, like the nazis.

Me: Which confuses me, because nazi stands for national socialist. It's socialism, which is a leftist ideology, but on a national scale. So really, naziism is left wing.

Student: Whatever Michael Savage. (Walks away)
by Mart Adler July 17, 2008
surprisingly, the critics of this who say congress didnt understand it haven't read/understood this document either. they just hear the main gist, and make stupid assumptions, or they just hear what other people say and repeat it without thinking. the patriot act doesnt say it can tap anyone, or get a warrant without any evidence whatsoever, or arrest anyone for no reason at all. It loosens restrictions that have been a big problem in preventing things from actually getting done. it also has a big part of making the way for intelligence agencies to share/give information to the proper departments and agencies in order to be effective for once and stop fucking around.

fact: the terrorist who was planning to knock down/destroy the Brooklyn bridge was arrested thanks to the Patriot Act. He was being tapped, and the word Brooklyn Bridge came up often. Pre-Patriot Act: courts would have asked when is this attack? how is it going to be attacked?...dont know? no warrant. But the information was turned to the NYPD, extra enforcement placed on the bridge, and then wire taps revealed the guy backing off because there was too much heat and security. A raid of his apartment showed shematics and plans on how he planned on destroying the bridge. You would know this if you read a newspaper, watched the news...anything. I hope plenty of you critics who drove across that bridge consider you could have been on that brdige with a terrorist cutting cables, blowing up the beams, or w/e, that wasnt caught with the aid of the Patriot Act. Numerous cells have been captured thanks to the Patriot Act.
Im glad so many of you are ignorant, and yet critical, of the Patriot Act. Because if the Patriot Act did what you say it does, all of you would be arrested for criticizing it. And yet, you're still here.
by CP December 06, 2004
An act that scares terrorists and other people that have something to hide (potential terrorists).

Come on people, as long as you live your life safe, go to work, pay your taxes and stay out of trouble (living a clean and simple life), this act doesn't effect you AT ALL. If you're a freaking radical muslim extremist, whose name is Mohammed Bin Al-Kazar, and you start checking out books from the libary on how to make bombs and start talking to your radical jihadist brothers over the phone about bombing America, then this act does effect you in every way.

Expand the mind a little bit people. Radical Muslims have declared Jihad on America and they will stop at nothing to kill us. The PATRIOT Act is why all the damn suicide bombings happen over seas, and not HERE.
Worry free citizen: Oh I just checked out Harry potter from the library. After I get off work, I believe I shall go home and relax in the comfort of it. Meanwhile, the PATRIOT Act is protecting from people who want to take away my freedoms as a loving, Christian American.

Crazy Ass Radical Extremist: Oh I just checked out all three volumes on Bomb Making from the library! America is mine!!! PATRIOT Act is bad!!! Veto it!!! SILENCE!! I KILL YOU!!!!!!
by USAprotector March 09, 2008
Yet another phrase used to whip people into a Bush-hating frenzy, the PATRIOT Act actually makes punishments against people who perform unauthorized wiretaps or use unauthorized listening devices harsher, thus PROTECTING people's privacy.

...but just try telling someone that.
Person 1: So what exactly is the PATRIOT Act?
Person 1: Seriously? What rights did they steal? Do you even know what the PATRIOT Act does or are you just repeating stuff you heard from some crank online?
Person 2: ...
Person 1: Hello?
Person 1: What!?
by Civan August 04, 2006

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