Top Definition
A small urban city in west central West Virginia, adjacent to the Ohio River. Historically significant for its abundance of 12 Step programs, overidentification with Neanderthalic sports activities, and large gay and lesbian communities, Parkersburg takes pride in being recognized as the enflamed, smegma-encrusted foreskin of Appalachia.
While traveling down I-77 I always try to stop in Parkersburg for my feminine hygiene products.
#west virginia #appalachia #ohio river #high school football #i-77
by VocabJabber August 26, 2008
Parkersburg, located at the confluence of the Ohio and Little Kanawha rivers, is the fourth-largest city in the State of West Virginia. It is the county seat of Wood County5 and the largest city in the Parkersburg–Marietta–Vienna Metropolitan Statistical Area. The population was 31,492 at the 2010 census. Its peak of population was more than 44,000 in 1960. The city is about 14 miles south of Marietta, Ohio.

The Baltimore and Ohio Railroad reached Parkersburg in 1857, but lacked a crossing over the Ohio River until after the American Civil War. When the B&O completed the Parkersburg Bridge (CSX) 1868-1870 to Belpre, it was the longest railroad bridge in the world.

The Bureau of the Public Debt, an agency of the U.S. Treasury Department, was relocated from the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area in the late 20th century and headquartered in Parkersburg. In October 2012, it was merged with the Financial Management Service to form the Bureau of the Fiscal Service.

Citation: Wikipedia
I recently caught an amazing Off-Broadway show at the Smoot Theatre in Parkersburg, WV.
by PkbJ November 05, 2015
A city in WV that is located on the Ohio river. There is nothing to do except drink or cruise backroads. There are two major public schools there that have good sports programs. The cops are real assholes and will fuck with you. Overall, there is nothing in this city and should not be visited.
Man we just won another state championship so lets go get drunk and cruise jesterville road. I hope we dont see any Parkersburg police cause they are dick lickers.
#cops #drinking #school #sports #drugs
by merkstud January 14, 2007
Lame town in West Virginia. There is absolutely nothing here but old people and hills. Although it is considered 'urban' it lacks many qualities of urban civilization, such as Target stores. If you are considering moving here and are under the age of forty/have kids, please find the nearest brick and bash your head with it repeatedly and reconsider.
Person 1: Hey man, it's Saturday! We should go out.
Person 2: Go out WHERE?
Person 1: Damn, I forgot. We're in Parkersburg. Nevermind, then.
#boring #lame #want #to #leave
by PyramidHeadRape December 29, 2008
A small shit hole in southern Illinois. There is nothing there but crackheads and crack babies. This is the place where the young kids go to drink and get away with it.
"Hey man, let's go drink at Finney's. We never get caught in Parkersburg!"
#shithole #cracktown #pburg #the burg #finneys
by OMGiiitsMex3 July 18, 2008
Noun: a city in West Virginia where you are likely to have anal sex.

Verb: the act of having anal sex, often because you are saving your "real" virginity for marriage.
If you and your boyfriend are drunk and you inadvertently bend over, he may Parkersburg you.
#anal sex #wv #butt sex #anal lube #going deep
by tygart valley cinemas March 01, 2010
The capital of all football.

A small town of 2000 people in northeast Iowa where football was invented. The high school, Aplington-Parkersburg High School, has produced 4 NFL players. It's a school of less than 300 students.

The four players are:
Casey Wiegmann - Kansas City Chiefs
Jared Devries - Detroit Lions
Brad Meester - Jacksonville Jaguars
Aaron Kampman - Green Bay Packers
Parkersburg is extremely boring with the exception of Friday nights in the fall.
by anonymous October 23, 2004
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