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1.
Any of several bodily fluids taken from the Pope to make sure all is well with the Holy Father's naughty bits. Usually collected by a Vatican Manginacologist, the samples are checked for disease and and then sent to the FBI for DNA comparison in ongoing kid diddler investigations.
A Papal Smear recently sold on eBay for $135K. No one is sure just who reached under the Pope's gown and stole her grogan.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 20, 2008
 
2.
The test the Cardinal must take before being elected Pope
Pending the results of the papal smear, Cardinal Smith will become the new Pope Elect
by cronyvalgrove February 20, 2013