The most retarded animal that ever walked this earth. Due to its size it should eat things like a horse made of chocolate and whey powder, but instead it decides to eat the least nutritious food that exists: bamboo. Because of this low nutrition a panda needs to eat around 500 stems each day which takes up all the time they spend being awake. The rest of the time they sleep.

They are almost extinct is for three reasons:
1. When the bamboo in the area they reside runs out, they are too lazy to move their fat asses anywhere else
2. They do not fornicate. But how can you blame them when they spend their entire day eating
3. Natural selection

They are not yet extinct for two correlated reasons:
1. They look ‘cute’
2. Human stupidity

I hereby nominate the entire panda species for the Darwin Award.
Panda A: I'm Hungry
Panda B: Yeah, me too

SPOILER:
They die
by Binque April 03, 2014
When referring to a human it is a Work-Safe way of calling someone a cunt!

The reason Panda's are cunts is due to the fact they refuse to breed, possible the pickiest eater on the Planet...

Taken from the Jim Jefferies Comedy routine
That Bill is a real Panda! always makes mistakes!
by Busrolled March 12, 2014
A useless, meaningless, sexless person who does nothing except eat and sleep, much like that of the animal, the Great Panda.
I went on a date with a really cute guy. But when I saw that he didn't have a job, eat more than I did, and wasn't interested in any of my sexual advances, I knew he was a panda.
by Marsupial1/2*2 May 08, 2011
1)Eats shoots and leaves (from a bamboo tree)

2)Eats, shoots and leaves (from the joke)

3)Black and white Chinese animal
A panda goes into a restaurant and orders food. The panda eats the food, shoots the waitress, then leaves. the police finally caught him and ask, "Why did you do it?"

The panda says, "look me up in the dictionary"
by pwrpufranger July 15, 2010
Police Officer; Black and White, Slow, and mostly Fat
Aww man, I got popped by a panda for doing 80 in a 20mph
by jfdksjfdks June 01, 2011
A sleepy individual, used when you are on the phone having interesting conversation, and all you hear on the other line is some sort of sleep talk/tired mumbling.
You are such a panda.
by cheeseheadddd April 18, 2011
A slang term for genetal herpes. Looks cute and cuddly on the outside but the herpes is mean and vicious
I slept with thishot chick last week, but the bitch gave me the panda
by x_hunter_x February 14, 2011

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