When a guy really needs to take a crap, the shitstorm begins to leave his ass the moment his underwear falls
below the faultline (his butthole)....He then begins what us men call "The move". The synchronized motion of yanking one's shorts down while beginning to shit while also sitting down on the crapper, all in one fluid beautiful motion.
This move does not though allow time to check if your wife left the seat up. The existence of a "down position" will result in what men will forever refer to as a "pancake shit"...otherwise referred to as a cake dump, or "laying a flattie".
My damn maid cleaned my bathroom and left the seat down.....after a night out on the town and a 2AM taco bell run, I ran in there with some projectile gurgling shit comin out of my stinkhole, I had no time to turn the light on.....
You guessed right boys, Pancake Shit.....