A Paddle Wanker refers to a minority of people who cannot bend their fingers back, thus emulating the shape of a paddle. They are complete wankers, who contribute next to nothing to society. They attempt to destroy as many oars/paddles as they can find, in order to justify their existence.
1) Whats the new kid like?
he's really weird, he can't bend his fingers back!
He's such a Paddle Wanker!
2) OH NO, my oar has snapped in half and we are stuck in the ocean....
...If only we had a paddle wanker to propel us to shore