pms
PMS (noun)

Premenstrual Syndrome or PMS is a hormonal state that affects some (SOME!) women and makes them more sensitive, bloated, angry, murderous and liable to need huge quantities of chocolate more than normally so. The condition lasts up to four weeks of every month.

PMS may also possibly stand for Punish My Spouse, or Pissed-off,& Murderously Savage. There is some argument amongst scholars over the exact words that make this acronym.
Husbands in remote Kreplachistan still attend "Poosiwippauniversit aat" or "School for Husbands." It's as mandatory before a Kreplachi wedding as a prenup in Beverly Hills. It's considered as necessary to surviving a Kreplachi marriage as laying in a huge supply of 2-layer, deluxe boxes of the best chocolates for the two or more weeks a month of a Kreplachi wife's PMS. (Scientists postulate that a gene in the Kreplachi population is found on the X chromosome, and women, being XX, get two of them and thus have twice the normal amount of PMS as the general population of women around the world.)

Potential husbands learn important skills like taking out the trash, mowing the lawn without prompting, cleaning up after the goats in the yard, running errands and putting down the toilet seat.

"It is a difficult habit to break if your mother did not teach you, as a young boy, to do this," remarks Hayseed Fuzzlov, one of the students who hoped he would marry well as a result of his studies. "I always use the toilet with the seat down," confides the more savvy Fabian Goatchek. "My mother trained me well."

It is said that the best brides will reject any proposal from a potential husband who doesn't possess the distinctive diploma, a whip crossed with a rolling pin tatooed on a tanned cat skin. "I wouldn't want a woman who didn't want me to have this schooling," remarks Igo Bonkers, a young man with a flourishing mustache, traditional in this mountainous land and useful for straining the bugs and leaves out of the strong Kreplachi tea "She would be a kind of a slut if she didn't." Unfortunately, after he uttered the Kreplachi word for "slut", three Amazons charged out of the bushes and clubbed him senseless with rolling pins. Such words are beneath the classically trained male students, and violations of the rules are judged harshly.

Advanced studies in diaper changing, doing dishes without breakage, foot-rubbing and finding gainful employment are available for those who really are serious about a good marriage, and remedial courses are typically completely booked months in advanced.

The final exam is said to be very tough: "They might ask you something difficult like 'Does this dress make me look fat' and you'd better have the right answer. You could die right on the spot if you get it wrong" Bonkers tells the reporter.

Last year eight men didn't make it through the course. But even their mothers weren't terribly sorry. "They just didn't learn. Not that we didn't try." remarked one mother, whose late son was a notable dunce. "He deserved what he got."
by Ortlieb Gottschalk July 09, 2007
PMS
Something men have all the time women once a month
every man i know has moodswings like they have pms
by lily02 March 31, 2009
PMS
Pissed at Men Syndrome
amagawd she's got PMS liek run for your lives!!1!!1!!!
by Shuyin June 03, 2005
PMS
The time before, and during a women's menstrual cycle.
It causes some women to become bloated, irritable,have severe cramps and mood swings. Most of the time eating chocolate helps. ^^'

Btw women are not BITCHY during this time of the month. Their hormones are raging in their bodies causing different emotions to occur. It is NOT a reason for men to run away screaming.
meh. pms sucks.
by killi August 21, 2008
PMS
Periods Must Suck
OH NO! We pissed her off while she is was in PMS! NOW SHE'S GOING TO TURN INTO THE INCREDIBLE HULK!
by Junkyardjimbo88 April 28, 2003
PMS
P=Puny M=Men S=Suffer
Dude, watch out! PMS!
by Just some guy July 28, 2003
PMS
Pissy Man Syndrome, a very common affliction in boyfriends and husbands.
Girl 1: My boyfriend totally had a bf (bitch fit) when i asked for ice cream at the movies.
Girl 2: He must have PMS
by Littlemissjune March 28, 2008
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