A scale of pants readiness, based on the DEFCON scale.

The scale is follows:

5: Pantsless. The lowest condition of pants readiness.
4: Pyjamas or similar slouchypants.
3: Jeans. Cords, if you’re that way inclined.
2: Work-appropriate pants. Chinos. “Slacks”.
1: Fancy pants, with a crease you could lose a finger on. A condition of maximum pants alert.