Top definition
PAINUS: When a male penis is inserted into the female's anus.

Penis + Anus = Painus.

It's a noun and a verb.
ex.1
Guy # 1: I had Painus with my girlfriend yesterday, it hurt like a bitch.

Guy # 2: Sounds like a pain in the ass.

ex.2
Man: My wife and I were PAINUS-ing last night, all was going well till a gave her a hernia.

Friend: Ouch...
by The-Mountain November 10, 2011
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2
1) (Noun) The pain a female experiences deep in her lower back around the colon when contractions around the 40th week of pregnancy start. The contraction pain is very near the anus giving the feeling of the onset of an impending putrid and painful deuce drop that ebbs and flows with each contraction.
2) (Noun) A person who is a real "pain in the anus".

Derrivative of "pain" and "anus".
1) My God!!! Is this a contraction or do I really have to shit?! Oh wait...its gone...I must be experiencing painus.
2) Linda keeps ridin' my ass and won't quit. She'a a persistent painus!
by Tenacious Faulker July 10, 2007
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3
Other way of saying "penis".
Mox bro, you're such a painus dude.
by Morango August 23, 2006
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4
pain in the anus, usually obtained when recieving your first deep butt stab from a gay associate
Man your dad gave me a killer painus last night. You gotta tell him to chill on the hard core rucus rump pumping.
by Rocco Cocko III May 08, 2010
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5
When a female has so much anal sex that her anus starts coming out of her ass, it looks like a second deformed vagina.
1. Dude I gave my girlfriend painus her parents are so pissed
2. My doctor said I have analititus infectiotite. I figure it's just painus.
2. The other day I saw some chick at the beach bend over and It looked like a cameltoe but I looked closer and it was just painus.
by Smiwy May 19, 2010
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6
Abbreviation for "Pain in the Anus"; derived from "Pain in the Ass".
X: goddam Uni is a painus

X: fukin hell your a painus, shut up already
by ChaosDogg May 29, 2005
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7
An intense pain in and around your anus
Kelly went for a massive bike ride around the lake. When she returned , she hopped of her bike and felt a horrible pain in her and around her anus.

Kelly: "It must have be from the seat"
Scottie: "Sure it was"
Scottie: "That's what we like to call, Painus"
by Mr Rollie June 10, 2008
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The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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