| 19. | Oxford | ||
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A small 'city' in Southern England that would be of complete insignificance were it not for its University. Everyone in Oxford is stuck up their own arse, even more so than your typical southerner, possessing some misguided sense of importance/higher social standing. Anyone under 25 in Oxford is a complete pussy and has one of those "oh look at me, I'm such a smart arse Academic" faces that you really just want to punch. If Oxford was in the North, it would be entirely ignored. They talk like complete twats, also. Obviously though, because it's got some ancient, elitist University, it must be cherished and wanked over by the Media 24/7. Oh yeah, they have some shitty ass boat race there against Cambridge, who are actually a lot more down to Earth than these pillocks, but Oxford feel the need to stamp their superiority everywhere. Posh twats. Northerner: "You ever been up Sheffield way?"
Oxford douche: "Oh heavens no; why, may I ask, would one ever want to venture so far North? I'm not a coal miner, I don't wear a flat cap you know, wot wot. Anyway, I must go and revise for my Philosophy exam tomorrow morn, because I posses such a high level of intellect and importance that you can't possibly contemplate, what with being Northern and all. Tally ho" Northerner: "...twat" |
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| 1. | Oxford | ||
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"Oh, I'd rather be at Oxford than at Johns"
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| 2. | Oxford | ||
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The finest institution of higher learning in the English-speaking world. Educator of philosophers, Kings, Presidents, and other eminent individuals. Also quite a lovely town, replete with beautiful scenery and impressive architecture.
Often derided by a tribe of ill-mannered savages who "study" somewhere in the wilds of East Anglia. Bloke 1: "I'll have you know, I study at Cambridge."
Bloke 2: "Brilliant! I'll mention you to my flatmates up at Oxford, we are looking for a new butler." |
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| 3. | oxford | ||
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Where I live.
more...
Best features: The Zodiac: Music Venue/Nightclub Covered Market: Great for quirky items/fresh food Cowley Road where so many fantastic shops sell (shisha)! The comedic Big Issue sellers: "pink tissue, buy your pink tissue here!" Park End: "The easiest place to pull on a saturday night" The falafel hut next to the odeon! YUM! Pheonix picture house: the cinema that doesn't show all the usual crap...and you can watch the films all night! Oxfam vinyl section: what can I say? The people of Oxford have good music taste. That 50s-esque rock group that sometimes play on the high street. Cool old school mics and bouffant hair. No 1. Winter pub: Turf Tavern: best pub and the hardest to find, but we like to keep it that way. Roaring fires in the in the winter to keep ya tootsies warm. No 1. Summer pub: The Hobgoblin: barbecues in the summer - the perfect place to just chill with a drink... |
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| 4. | Oxford | ||
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Beautiful if congested British city, home to Oxford Brookes University and the somewhat older (c.1167) Thames Valley Polytechnic, also known as the University of Oxford. The UoO is the oldest university in the English-speaking world, and its early status as the only one also marks the last time it was at the top of the league tables. Currently placed at no.10 worldwide, it lags behind Cambridge in 2nd and eight others from the nouveau riche colonies.
Oxford has supplied the world with many of its leading politicians and lawyers, but despite this fact has somehow escaped global retribution. The sort of person who graduates from this university is perhaps best demonstrated by the fact that Jeffrey Archer had little trouble convincing people he was an Oxford man, although in fairness he was later found to be too conniving a little shit even for Oxfraud. Currently run by a Kiwi, the University of Oxford enters the 21st Century much as it entered the 19th; with the sound of grumbling old men in leather chairs, some beautifully-manicured lawns and the eternal whiff of institutional homosexuality. Oxford is also famous for being a place preferable to St. John's College, Cambridge, a fact which marginally elevates Oxford but does Johns no favours whatsoever. Oxford graduands are now able to choose between being awarded the BA, or accepting the more useful equivalent in Airmiles.
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| 5. | oxford | ||
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a beautiful and kickass town, home to one of the world's greatest universities.
by
anonymous
Oct 7, 2003
add a video
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| 6. | oxford | ||
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A dress/casual long-sleeve shirt knit out of a durable, soft and thick heavyweight cotton. Also has convertible cuffs, and a button down collar. Seen on the polo players of old, and private school boys of today. "Nice shirt, man! Looks sharp."
"Yup. It's an oxford" |
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| 7. | Oxford | ||
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english university full of meat-heads and a few actually clever students. the meat-heads (usually public schoolboys with more salmon-pink shirts than brain cells) like to think they're geniuses (not "genii", you conceited idiot) because they go to oxford, failing to realise that this is not much of an achievement in itself. it's what you do there that counts, twat. "Tarquin's got into oxford to read history"
"oh, how fabulous for him. of course, paying thousands of pounds for his private education and then a whole lot more for private coaching and interview practice were nothing to do with this colossal achievement. he got in entirely on his own steam" "but of course" |
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