Here are a few interesting and accurate facts about this dust ball of a town in case you have plans to move here.
People can't drive at all. They switch lanes with no signals, cut you off then slow down. Will exceed the speed limits by 20-miles or above than posted looking like the running of the bulls with their cars in the mornings and afternoons. It's like they all share one half functional brain which some days works good others is a dud.
House values are in the dumb.
Everyone is a snitch. They won't welcome you or even say hello to you but they sure will snitch on you on anything they can come up with.
"Neighbors" rather call the county code enforcement on you after 24-hours of you first moving-in with your U-Haul and PODS still park in your driveway than give you the welcome.
Wal-Mart is full of uneducated idiots driving clunkers. While Target is full with more uneducated idiots driving Euro trash Audi and BMW.
People can't drive... Oh I mentioned that already.... my bad.
The current county mayor and head honcho of the Transit Authority Richard "Double Dipping" Crotty is one of the biggest thieves in the city. While city mayor Buddy Dyer is a closeted homosexual (Lance Bass called he wants his weird eyes, smile and neck move back!).
The justice system is a total joke. With only ONE court room located in Downtown Orlando to serve the whole county. If it was up to the judges and prosecutors, everyone will be sent to jail without a fair trial. Witness of this behavior can be observe with how bad they are handling Casey Anthony's trial. Throwing out and denying EVERYTHING to her defense, yet allowing unnecessary evidence against her.
The Parliament House is NOT a club or casino, but a place where married men who are tired of their wives find a new friend or an old friend if their wives are the bossy type which 99.99% of them are.
Millenia is a registered typo trademark created in order to milk the area and kick out the poor Black people who live in it first for more new retail developements.
The newscasts are ALL boring. Along with their so-called personalities. They resource to cover crappy news from other crappy counties.
The Orlando Police, Orange County Sheriff's Office, Orange County Commissioners and the UCF **think** they own the citizens and their properties with their pathetic lectures and arrogant behavior. Orlando and the whole Orange County is run like a dictatorship.
The favorite number of Code Enforcement is 1,000.
Everyone is extremely envious of you and what you have. So much that, they won't even greet you if you are driving a 1-day older car or you're simply dress better than they are. this is much worse if is a much better brand and look than theirs.
Orlando is a Wanna-be City full of plastic brainless "citizens" who **think** they have some sort of advantage over Miami (which they don't) and life the fantasy of be like the real OC just because every road ends on one of their 5-tolls roads, share 4-theme parks with a neighboring dust ball county, had their first American Idol audition and had their mediocre basketball team made it to the finals which they lost against the real OC team.
There's a sub-division everywhere and more foreclosure than in Las Vegas and Miami combine, yet developers still continue making more of them.
Every POS auto dealer or business has to have the "of Orlando" next to their names just in case their brainless citizens had forgot about it.
Businessmen are so cheap they resource to make their own commercials., some, like Appliance Direct pay over $100,000 a week to run a 5-minute paid commercial loop over and over. Others, will simply run 30-seconds spots 1,000 times a day.
Waterford Lakes Town Center is the ONLY shopping attraction on the East Side. Park Avenue in Winter Park does not count unless you're plastic and wear your money while you chuck down on your flavored designer coffee.
Downtown Orlando is a disgrace. Even Paris Hilton left her sponsored club behind.
Nothing is top-notch quality. Not even the so-called "plush" restaurants.
Mary: Yeah, his company is giving him the option of three cities New York, Los Angeles or Orlando.
Carol: I hope they don't choose Orlando. My son tells me it's run like a dictactorship with false promises of prosperity just to get you in.
it's actually a cool city with a whole bunch of exciting things to do, but the traffic is horrendous and whenever you mention Orlando all people think about is amusement parks.
Northerner: ooh, can we go to Disneyworld!?
FL native: ...stupid tourist, I'm going downtown!
The only major city in Florida that every Floridian visits, but to which no Floridian ever willfully moves.
This arises for a couple of reasons:
1)Orlando is the only major city in Florida without a beach.
2)Floridians already see enough tourists, so Orlando is like Hell on Earth.
"Let's just go to Orlando for the day. I can't stand the Mouse much longer than that."
Serina: "Good! Me and Orlando hung out, I'll never forget today."
Jasmine: "Oh cool.And why is that?"
Serina: "Because its impossible to forget are memories."
-Yea, but that Tea Bagger governor turned down a proposal that would pay for 90% of the project and generate jobs.