Group of islands in the north of Scotland like Shetland, only not as good.
Also famous for Satanic abuse allegations, monkey farmer love triangles that culminate in murder and a body in a shallow grave in some sand dunes, proper mental neo-fascists who shoot waiters in curry houses, and their dads in the local police who try to cover things up for them.
Which just goes to show that truth is always stranger than fiction.
I wanted to go to Shetland on holiday this year, but couldn't afford the flights to get there. I went to Orkney instead, and it was crap. I was satanically abused by a white supremacist, ended up shot until I was completely dead, I was buried on a beach, and the whole thing was covered up by the local fuzz. I shan't be going there again, and I've said some pretty stern stuff about it all on Trip Advisor.
A pedi group of islands north of the Scottish mainland, famous for its prehistoric civilisations (eg. Skara Brae, mentioned in the 2008 Indiana Jones film), the Old Man of Hoy and the 'Ba game with the Uppies V Doonies.
I'm flying back home to Orkney this weekend, can't wait!