|1.||Operation Flying Turtle|
An advanced homosexual technique used by only the most adventurous couples. You start this delight by turning up the heat in the room to make your sack leather maliable. Once the sack leather has reached a bubblegumish feel. You then stretch the sack over the entire erect penis and With one hand (your dominant hand preferably) you lock the sack skin firmy in place at the base of the shaft. Now With your other arm supporting your lower back. Have your man kneel before you, grab his ankles, and bring his knees to his shoulders then tell him to repeat the word "Gamera" three times. Now comes the difficult part that takes otherworldly aim and precision. From approximately 15-20 yards out try and achieve a nice eric Dickersonesque head of steam and pray to god you hit the doodoo chute with enough force to engulf the whole " flying turtle... Nothing worse than a fractured Half turtle.
This move was invented,perfected and practiced repeatedly by Adam Carolla on his male staff members over at ace broadcasting studios.
Adam-" Hey bald Bryan, forget that fancy new tumor medicine you've been taking.... I got something better."
Bryan-" what's that boss?"
Adam-" looks like you dropped your pencil"
Bryan-" oh thank......... Uuuuuurrrrgghh ahhhhhhhh noooo! Not operation flying turtle again!!"