When your special someone is giving you oral sex you ejaculate on her chin and you trim your pubic hair, then you sprinkle your hair on her chin making it look like she has a beard then tell her to stand up, next you kick her least favorite leg and poke her eye. So she is a one legged pirate.
Dude 1: I pulled a fast one on my girl yesterday.
Dude 2: No way really the One Legged Pirate.!
Dude 1: Yeah she looked like Captn Ahab.
when giving someone anal you proceed to step/break her ankle, this causes her to limp or hop on one leg. next, you shoot a "mighty,mighty" load into one of her eyes. this in turn causes her to cover an eye making her a one legged pirate.
My bitchy girlfriend wouldn't take my package the right way, so i made her uglier than she already is with the one legged pirate.