Top Definition
The notice of a death of a total and complete bitch. This person will be in the newspaper because shes not big enough for the actual news, even though she thought she was. She'll have her own column in the paper that is way off to the side where no one will ever see it, because she was a bitch to the newspaper people too.
Guy 1: Hey, did you see the obituary in the newspaper today.
Guy 2: Yeah, it was for ____.

Guy 3: It wasn't an obituary, it was an obitchuary!
*then they all laugh and ride into the sunset together*
by LoloSmiles March 02, 2015

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Unfavourable obituary. Hatchet job on someone who has recently expired.
In her obitchuary we read that her much vaunted beauty was known to her inner circle to be only the result of extensive plastic surgery.
by Neomot October 18, 2012

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An obitchuary is a term used to describe a place where the local residents will most likely harm the prostitutes working under a pimp(s), hurting business.

1. To the poorer, more ghetto pimps, the word is to threaten or scare the prostitutes working under them. A common phrase found in the ghetto is "sendin' a bitch to the obitchuary".

2. To the more wealthy, high-class pimps, the term is mostly used as a geological term used to describe and figure out where the safest and most profitable areas are in town, and where the most dangerous & unprofitable places as well.

Both meanings carry a negative connotation
Poor pimp: Hey yo bitch, don't make me send you to da 'bitchuary, ya hear?

Prostitute: Sorry daddy

Poor pimp: That's right, bitch. Now go out and make me more money!

--------------

Rich pimp #1: Do you think we should send out some girls out into the Tower District after midnight to increase profits?

Rich pimp #2: Nah, brotha. The Tower District turns into an obitchuary after 1 A.M.
by gr33kbo1 June 30, 2010

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The common newspaper column that women utilize to write in and complain about the oblivious/incompetent/chauvinistic men in their lives. (Seldom read by the men, incidentally --- ignorance is bliss, and they don’t want to be overly depressed.)
Petulant girl: My boyfriend is being a total dink --- I think I'll write in to the obitchuary, to see what the other chicks think about it.
by QuacksO November 28, 2011

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