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A nuclear turtle refers to a nuclear turd that won't quite launch. The missile is armed, the silo doors are open, but instead of launching, the head of the nuclear turd peeks out, much like a turtle in its shell. At this point, the nuclear turd has morphed into a nuclear turtle.
The silo doors are open, but my nuclear turd won't launch, looks like I've got a nuclear turtle.

I've been waiting on this nuclear turd for half an hour, I guess its now officially a nuclear turtle.
by Dr. Strangedump October 18, 2010
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The vengeful act of crapping on a lover's chest while they sleep.

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2
When your bowel movement results in a mushroom cloud of stench arising in the immediate vicinity. Then you observe below you in the toilet bowl the illegitimate spawn of some sort of amphibians from the bikini atoll test site. Most of the time a nuclear turtle is of a green color in some or all of its outer coating, although a black and brown variety has been reported.
My sh*t just hit critical mass, nuclear turtle imminent!
by TurtleBomber September 30, 2010
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