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1.
First, catch a flight over to the Philippines as you will need five to ten midgets from Manilla. Take the midgets along with several other people, (blind transvestites usually works) out into International waters, near the island of Midway and catch a Great White Shark, using the chopped up midgets as bait. Then take the shark with your transvestites to Panama (this will be your base of operations.) Hire a team of marine biologists to care for the shark, they may rape it as they please, but it must remain alive. Then take the transvestites to Norway out in the forest, it can be snowing or not, your choice. Get some vodka prior to visiting the forest (Sweden is right next door.) then set fire to a large piece of the forest, gather up the dead animals and have a wild orgy with the nearest KKK members. Definition continues in example
While in the offseason of raspberry sherbet, i enjoy a good 'ol Norwegian Christmas.

Then kill the transvestites using whatever method you please and make a traditional viking burial for them and float them off the coast of Norway. Head to Westminster Abbey and dig up Mary Queen of Scotts. Take her and some slaves to Stonehenge in England (these slaves must have syphilis, HIV, and gonorrhea), in the middle of the circle, have an orgy, and play soggy Mary Queen of Scotts. Whoever loses is the slave you want alive. Afterwards, make a raft of the dead slaves and go back to Panama (with the slave who lost Mary Queen of Scotts) to your base of operations. Next, take the slave to the Great White tank and make the slave attempt to have sex with the shark. If they survive past 9 seconds in the tank then keep them alive. However if they die, go back and repeat the steps at Stonehenge with another important Scottish dignitary that has been dead for 100+ years, until you have a live slave. Take this slave back to England and have them dubbed a knight, as this slave is now the most powerful person in the world (excluding Chuck Norris). Feed the slave to the shark in Panama, the shark should now have an ominous glow to it. Dye the shark the colors of the Norwegian flag, (red, white and blue). Ride it back on the Atlantic to Norway and the first little boy you see, between the ages of 5 and 13, give him the shark and say Merry Christmas. You just made that little boy's life
by tsligh December 09, 2010