The shorten version of:
FEMALE- she won't do it doggy style or get on top, missonary only. If she is involved, she is going to be fucking up.
MALE- he won't do it doggy style or get on top, cowgirl only. If he is involved, he is going to be fucking up.
(insert any name) set this up, so everything was fucked up, really No Doggy Style.