A country in the southern hemisphere.
Close to Australia
, New zealand was once a colony of Australia but seperated much like America did to England.
They have a relative large amount of sheep and Have hot accents. Im Australian and i think that new zealanders are okay if they just STFU about us being all gay. WE ARE JUST LIKE YOU.
New Zealander: How bout we get some fesh and chups?
Aussie: nah mate I want a steak on the bbq!
An insignificant group of islands in the South Pacific inhabited by 55 million sheep, 4.5 million of which think they are human.
American: "Are you British?"
New Zealander: "Nah mate, I'm from New Zealand."
American: *blank stare*
English bartender: "What's it to be guv?"
New Zealander: "A pint of lager thanks."
English bartender: "I see your cricketers beat us in the Ashes again."
A crappy country where people are either idiotic risk takers like bungee jumpers or country hicks (most of the population), animals ruining scenery or causing roadblocks, nothing to praise but scenery, much of which is boring & repetitive, constant rain, constant freak weather nowadays, little American influence, everyone's so British even though it's not a British country anymore and hasn't been for a long time, everyone and everything seems strange down there, everything's expensive, not much to do, etc. Australia's a lot better
"Dude I'm going to New Zealand"
"Have you lost your mind?"
A land full of xenophobic, bad driving, stupid, one eyed, selfish, deluded, aussie hating twats.
The country is quite nice but none of the New Zealanders have any clue about it they all want to get out and go on ther OE. Once on their OE they rarely return because there is not work and any work there is will be better paid elsewhere.
'I live in a beautiful country full of friendly people here in New Zealand' !! yeah right it has the highest sucide rate of teenagers. A huge drug and alcohol problem. High chest problems because they live in wooden houses with poor heating. I rains constanly hence a green land under a long white cloud.
Country east of Australia, extending slightly further south than the Australian island of Tasmania. Has an extremely overrated reputation, especially for its physical beauty,
most likely spread by NZers themselves. To hear them speak you'd never know any other country has snow-capped mountains, beaches or fiords. In reality,
it's cities are uninspiring and boring, the landscape is monotonous, it has been horrible deforested, and all that green you see is sheep and dairy pastures, which are very hard on the land. There are mountains in the south, but the lanscape there is nothing compared to many other places in the world, for example southern Patagonia, which extends much further south and is much closer to Antarctica, a fact which would likely be a surprise to most NZers, as they believe they are furthest south. They may not teach much geography there, which would account for their thinking of their country as somehow special.
Very nice beaches, and there are lots of them.
Government: Not a democracy. Led by the ugliest head of state in the world (Helen Clarke). Now there's a superlative that is actually true! Horribly bloated government. MPs take the people's money and live the good life, robbing the citizens of the social services they should be getting. Probably way more corrupt than anyone is willing to admit.
Education: A University education is very expensive and not subsidized by the government, except as low interest loans. Despite a hugely t...
hey everyone leave new zealand alone, its a nice caring country that loves everyone. sure we may not be sophisticated or smart or diverse, but we make do with what we`ve got/. i myself am a plumber, my weekly pay packet is enough to feed my family of sheep and to buy a brush to keep the wool out of my eyes. i love new zealand. sometimes i stand on the west coast and cock my ear over towards them aussies to see if theyre talking about us lol but they never talk about us, i dont think theyre even aware that we exist. i love aussies. i wished i could hire a tug boat to tow new zealand across the tasman and join it onto the east coast of australia, then i`ll be able to sleep soundly at night knowing that i`m finally home. thankyou australia from the bottom of my heart.
please mrs helen clarke make new zealand an australian state.
country voted to have the least sexy accent in the world. the men's voices sound as if their voice box has been pushed to the back of their neck.
the people of new zealand get upset easily. they will often try to start fights, especially with australians who just laugh and wonder why new zealanders get so angry.
the reason new zealanders get angry is because it is a matriachal society and women are hypnotised by a small group of women to never have sex. the reason for this is power of course, but it has nasty side effects - everyone knows that a man who doesn't get any, is irritable and tries to pick fights with their neighbours.
the only men that do get sex, are the sons of the abovementioned small group of women, and they are fucked by their mothers from a young age. these guys are extremely proud as you can see from a lot of the posts here. just walk the streets of a new zealand city any time and you'll know what i mean.
australian tourist in new zealand: excuse me, sorry to bother you. do you have the time?
new zealander: the time? what the fuck did you say to me? new zealand would waste australia.
A mythical place in the southern Pacific Ocean made of clouds, that was invented by Australians.
Legends that ascribe "New Zealand" to be the birthplace of a variety of Australian celebrities, including Ernest Rutherford, Edmund Hillary, Burt Munro, Russell Crowe, Keith Urban and Sonny Bill Williams, can be traced back to early social engineering attempts undertaken by radical left-wing political movements that are also responsible for a once widely circulated urban myth: that the British couldn't conquer "New Zealand" and so had to sign treaties with the original inhabitants.
Various popular musical bands also claim to be "from New Zealand", such as Crowded House, Fat Freddy's Drop and Flight of the Conchords, though this is usually not part of a crazy belief system, but a clever marketing ploy.
The famous poet and philosopher, Munter, sometimes describes his ancestry as originating in "New Zealand", though this is usually a reference to his earlier work where he disproved the theory of epiphenomenalism.
see also: New Zealander adjective derrog.
Rugby players that happen to be drunkards, sheep molesters and adults that have difficulty with shoes, as depicted in the Australian historical docu-drama "Footrot Flats", are also frequently referred to as New Zealanders.
High School Student (drunk): 'Wun ee grew oop, ee winna bi uhn Oozie, eh bro, ow'.
Teacher: 'Don't give up Jerome; you're nearly ready for crayons...baby steps...and please, just call me "Miss"; it will more than double your productivity rate'.
High School Student: 'Oo kah eh bro, noo woories ow bro, jest coz oo cull mi uh New Zealander, yis or stull oolright, yeh Oz- ut's chooiice izzzz, eh? Ow.'
Teacher: 'Any more talk of this, "New Zealand" nonsense, and I'll have you banned from Rugby'.
High School Student: 'Chooiice izzz broo'