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1. noun: a lengthy, often thin, semi-circumnavigational protrusion of hair with its apex at the mid- to lower-sides-and-back of the head (usually just above the ears) which successfully covers the the nape of the neck. Must occur in conjunction with a failure or disregard for the growth of hair on top of the head (i.e. the dome of the head must be "chrome").

Coupled with the "neard" to seriously great effect.

2. noun: a piece of fabric or leather fashioned in such a way as to imitate the action of the nape cape hairstyle; usually used in lieu of actual hair growth, but it may also be superimposed over one's existing, weak, or burgeoning nape cape.
1. Not only was U.S. representative Horace Greeley (1811-1872) known to avidly sport a neard, but he was able to couple this look with the equally popular hairstyle of the nape cape, amounting to a statement of stunning, if not revolutionary, disregard for personal appearance and common sense.

2. In a weak attempt to further the disengagement of the American Colonies from British Rule, Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) suggested during a lull at the fourteenth meeting of the Second Continental Congress that United States officials, representatives, and citizens reject the popular "powdered wig" fashion trend of the British, and instead adopt a wig fashioned closer to his own personal hairstyle of the nape cape. Though initially hailed as a brilliant appeal to the spirit of a new American identity, the artificial nape cape only became popular among a few delegates of the Second Continental Congress before it was declared "just silly" and forgotten before ever truly reaching the American public.

After an entire chapter was dedicated to the underlying "Hegelian Spirit" of Benjamin Franklin's unprecedented adjuration of the artificial nape cape in Dr. David Blaine's 1987 publication of "Hair Wars: The Derelict Import of Pelage Stylings in the Pre-Post-Enlightenment Insurgencies of the Occident", the artificial nape-cape was resurrected as a politico-fashion statement among Conservative and Libertarian intellectuals and pseudo-intellectuals during the late 1980's to mid 1990's.
by Spark Mandrill, Ph. D February 05, 2012
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