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1.
Abbreviation for: Never Ending Whiner's Society.. definition: A group of frustrated women and,or woosy men get together in breakrooms,chatboards,bars,homes and Whine,bitch,complain about stupid,dumb,meaningless things like: people, place's, opinions,idea's,family,any and everything under the sun basically
Hey Tom! check it out there goes the NEWS third time today (2)Hey honey, where you been? out with the NEWS again?(3) Shut the Hell up I'm so F#@$ing tired of hearing what you and your NEWS feel about what color I should paint this !
by Richer Paumade October 09, 2006
227 43
 
2.
Anything absolutely horrible that is sure to make people feel bad or hurt but boosts ratings and newspaper/magazine sales beyond belief. Not to be confused with good news.
Yesterday on the news I read that endangered pandas seeking refuge in the rainforest were viciously attacked by evil corporations under the WTO and then had their meat sold to first world countries that will just waste and its all our fault but I'm going to be sure and tune in at 11 to find out the rest of the story.
by boxcoolbox January 06, 2004
90 28
 
3.
Current events
"What's in the news?"
by star8706 September 27, 2003
47 32
 
4.
A public record of all the horrible things that happen in the world every day.
Person A: Did you read the news today?

Person B: No, I'm too depressed to want to read how many people died from being blown up by terrorists/killed in meaningless wars/drowned/overwhelmed by environmental degredation/eaten by wild dogs/etc.

Person A: Okay..... never mind then.
by handoftheemu May 18, 2013
4 0
 
5.
A misnomer.

A TV show, in which topical, current real or simply ficticious events,
are used as the basis for made-up stories, and or discussions.

Stories are often produced, specifically to target propoganda,
for specific brainwashing purposes.

Watchers of News often will gladly believe fictional
stories which portray their country as being Godly,
Just, Fair, Caring, and rich in making actions for humanity.

News shows, play an importan roll in influencing whole populations,
and their use of true stories, well adds to their illusions,
helping to increase the believability of their fictional strories that are produced, as propoganda, which have been used to make inhumain practices seem like those of fair minded caring people.

News shows are absolutely essential to the functioning democracy.
Through stories and interviews, illusions of truth, are created.
News shows use sounds and images, and play a huge part in brainwashing people.

Without news shows to support them, the rich and their ruling regime,
and system of interlinked organisations, which have exerted control over most countries, of the world, would less easily be able to be portrayed as democracy in action.

The ecenomic grip enabeling their influence to dominate, and control most political systems, is well served by the News.
News is produced by many differing organisations, for example the BBC, CNN, Sky,
and these can further work together to increase illusions,
through 'reporting' the same propoganda.

One method used in news production,
is as simple as it is effective, by using interview with people only from the one side of a conflict,
is highly effective in creating the illusion that their projected view is that of the majority or only view.

Often the truth is not reported at all.
News shows provides a great platform for political figures to educate people, so they may better understand why should chose to vote for them.
by craig uvara September 23, 2012
6 3
 
6.
Nipple Erection Without Stimulation. See NHO
Dude... its cold outside. That chick has NEWS.
by amazing gook April 09, 2004
29 38
 
7.
Amongst a small group of friends in Solihull, West Midlands UK, it is the way to greet. It also functions as certain bridges for sentences, for example, using it to define actions and opinions etc.
In greeting:
"News."
"News"

In conversation:
"What sort of news are you getting on?"
"News of the drinking variety"

In object:
"Woah! That stunt Marty McFly does in Back To The Future 2, where he escapes from Biff in the tunnel is the news!!"
by Tom Honeyfield December 16, 2004
9 25