If you are ugly, have no friends, and cannot adequately conduct yourself in social situations, then you will seek out acceptance via non-personal forms of communication to construct a facade to dupe passers-by that you do have friends based on the number of vibrations one receives after sending multiple short messages hoping for the same number of responses, ergo the same number of vibrations-an audible symbol many associate with friendship.
The word Lieutenant is pronounced incorrectly by americans, it is a french word and to spell in phonetically in english one would write it as Leftenant.
So the yanks fail...sorry
Oh also mum has something to do with keeping your mouth shut about something...read examples
Mum's the words (the keeping your mouth shut part)