One who wakes up early on saturday morning for the sole purpose of furiously eating (fucking) all of the oven fresh muffins before anyone else can. They also enjoy fucking carrot cake and banana bread.
Bill (to Steve): That J.V. is a muffin fucker extraordinaire.
Steve: It's 5:30AM, better get down stairs before all of those muffins get fucked.
muffin fucker (v): someone you offers to do something solid but ends up pussin out and being an overall bitch by not closing the deal
Teddy is a muffin fucker because he volunteered to DD us out to the lake but then decided to sleep there instead of driving home like a muffin fucking whore. he will also probably be a muffin fucker and eat all the muffins in the morning too