1 step above scientology
scientology they misread your iq mormons your prolly shitfaced
(n.) a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The largest church to be established in America, therefore known as the "American Religion", it is a world wide church with over 13 million members across the globe. "Mormonism" is a branch of Christianity, and consider the Holy Bible and the Book of Mormon to be it's primary religious texts. The LDS (or Mormon) church is centered around the family unit, and it's purpose is to help people to return to a Heaven and a Heavenly Father there who created all of humanity, to leave for eternity with their families and at God's side. This is achieved by following the teachings of Heavenly Father (God), which were taught by Jesus Christ, the prophets of Biblical times, and the prophets of the LDS church in these latter days.
The LDS church is most commonly known for it's high moral code, which includes:
-Honoring the laws of the land
-No consumption of alcohol, tobacco, tea, coffee, or anything that takes away the agency (the greatest gift of God to his children) of man on this Earth. (these are believed to take away your agency because they are addictive)
-Complete sexual chastity until marriage, including any sexual behaviors such as pornography, masturbation, and sexual contact.
-Protection of your body as a holy temple, which includes abstaining from any illegal drug use, tattoos, more than 1 set of ear piercings for women, dressing modestly, and not consuming alcohol, tobacco, coffee or tea.
Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
We're not a cult, we don't want to force religion down your throat, and we whole-heartedly accept that you have your own opinion. We believe our church's doctrine to be true, yet many of the members are still quite flawed (myself included, as well as many others who have attempted to tell you what we're all about).
If you really want to know about our church, talk to the missionaries. Members have a tendency to twist what we believe in their own ways. The missionaries will (for the most part) set you straight on our beliefs. They will never force what they have to say upon you. If you don't want them around, just politely tell them so. Trust me, I was a missionary myself. You can be mean to them, but they'll just make fun of you (like anybody else would).
The only real way for people to tell us apart from everyone else (and no, it's not our horns...although they're really quite stylish) is from the things we DON'T do. For example, we don't drink coffee or tea, and we don't have sex before we're married. By choice, mind you. Our members are free to drink as much coffee as they want, or look up as much porn as they want. Seems to me that being able to NOT do such things is a great exercise in self-control. Most people don't seem to like that because they themselves do not have the same self-control and they want to put down anyone else who does.
Please don't disparage Joseph Smith. We revere...
Keepers of the secret truth behind magnets.
although many have tried to squeeze this secret from the mormons, many have failed.
Mormon:"Hello, would you like to ask a question on our basic beliefs?
Me:"Yes, how do magnets work?"
Mormon:"your chat has ended"
A religion that is greatly misunderstood. Many only know them because of their missionaries that visit door-to-door. Many misconceptions are that they can have more than one wife. That is a lie. When the church was restored by Joseph Smith (who was not a crazy guy) everyone was allowed to have more than one wife. Another, we do not offer money to God or Jesus, it's called tithing. It is given to the church to pay for more churches, temples, the MTC (Missionary Training Center), etc. Another is that people believe we created a new Bible. That is incorrect. Joseph Smith recovered the Book of Mormon about a century ago after praying to God, asking about which religion to join. God answered said none were right. We also do not believe that you have to be a mormon, or you'll go to hell. Only those who are truly evil go to hell (murderers, rapists, ect.) Some of us do have many children because one of our duties is to have as many as possible, but it isn't like we actually have hundreds like many people joke around about. Also, we aren't really called 'Mormons,' that is just the slang term. We are actually LDS, or Latter-Day Saints. One last thing; we believe in God the Father, Christ the Son, and in the Holy Ghost. They are the Godhead, separate but one. Three different people, all here for the same thing.
Person 1: Hey, what church do you go to?
Person 2: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Person 1: Isn't that Mormon?
Person 2: That's what many know us by.
Person 1: Wow. Just want to say, Joseph Smith was some crazy old guy. I can't believe you worship him. Oh, and you like, sacrifice money to him or something. That's just stupid.
Person 2: He wasn't crazy, he was blessed. If you actually want to learn some real facts about us then read the Book of Mormon.
Some of the nicest people you will ever meet, which is unfortunate, since they fall victim to the biggest fraud ever. The Book of Mormon has been altered nearly 300 times to meet the popularity of changing times, such as no longer practicing poligamy and allowing blacks into the church after feeling the pressure of the Civil Rights Movement. Joeseph Smith was not a martyr, he shot at and killed some of the people that came after him when they were tired of his lies.
Nobody ever saw the Golden Plates, and what he copied down from them in "hieroglyphics " have been translated and found to mean absolute rubbish. Mormons say that the Bible is word from God, even though the Bible clearly says that nothing can be added to it, the Book of Mormon is an obvious attempt at this.
Mormons must tithe 10 percent of their income to be in good standing, and people are counting. My church simply has an anonymous drop box in the lobby
-1/4th shot of lemon juice
-3/4th shot of Captain Morgan
Mixing Captain "Mor"gan and Le"mon" making "Mormon"