v When you mistakenly catch someone masturbating. Often caused by poor choice of place and timing, such as before dinner, at the movies, at school, at work, in the shower when your roommate is waiting and irritated, in a resturant, in a public restroom, in the back seat of a van on a long road-trip, in a park, on or near a playground, during a party, in the waiting room of a clinic for the blind, in an elementary school principal's office, when you sleep in a bunkbed, in a pool, in river with hungry fish, when you come home to a missing plunger and/or bananas, when you forget to close the browser on the family computer, or making the decision at 5:58 when your mom usually gets home at 6:01 (see after school special).
"Man, I am either a master of mistakurbating or our daughter has the worst choice of timing. Or she still hasn't figured it out. Have you seen the sausages?"
Our hero goes to a job interview at a big box store in a tuxedo.
The Manager holding back a bellowing laugh, "So, you can tell me the truth. Why did you get fired from your last job?"
The man replies, "I was caught masturbating on my break."
"Ya, I know. That's my free time and I am allowed to do whatever I want on my own time!"
And with that the manager could not resist passing him on to the next department for hiring. True story, no joke.