78
a guy who used to be cool, but is now just sad and old. can't commit, lives like a frat boy, and denies both
You know that guy Jessie used to date? Yea, he is such a Mike.
by facon675309 August 11, 2011
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79
A piece of shit. The worst person on the planet. Gets confused with the count from sesame street. Can't not handle his liquor. Punches holes in walls and breaks doors. Has no respect for women and is supposedly a "sex addict". Cares only for beer and food. ALCOHOLIC. Also has a chronic coughing problem. Disliked by many.
Dude how much did you drink last night, you pulled a mike.
by Josh alan33 May 27, 2011
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80
to be fired from a job only to be rehired back a short-time later for a similar job in the same company.
Random tactless employee: "Hey Jennie, I'm surprised to see you here, I thought you were let go last month."

Jennie: I was but I was miked.
by Mr Stability February 04, 2010
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81
a douche who breaks up with a girl on her birthday and finds another girlfriend within 2 weeks that is 4 years younger than him!
mike broke up wit me on my bday

wat a douch
by mikeisanass January 07, 2010
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82
mikes is short of micrograms, used when talking about how much acid you taken or how good the acid is.
1)Duude i was soo messed up last night i most of takin 200 mikes of acid.

2)
guy 1: hey man you want some acid?
guy 2: ya dude,is the shit any good?
guy 1: ya man its owsley shit, its 300 mics a hit
by bongzilla420 October 22, 2007
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83
A rare character defined by his colossal mass and wealth of useless information which covers every topic that you don't want to hear about. Talents include reciting entire URL addresses and quoting from 'How I Met Your Mother'. Despite his lack of ability with maths, Mikes in general are renowned for their superior skill in monitoring debts to the exact penny. Talents do not include knowing how to shit properly, a basic human function he seems to struggle with more than showering. This leads to a smell so pungent it could kill the smell of a dead animal, as well as said dead animal - which will probably have shit smeared on it, in the same fashion as his door/bathroom wall/bathroom door handle/everything in bathroom apart from bowl. Eating habits include everything that is processed and chemically engineered, although the species of Mike may occasionally advance to feasting upon 'peanut butter and jelly sandwiches', one of the many Americanisms he has adopted. Mikes may be falsely recognised as slugs, a species that share similar qualities with Mikes; however, it is unlikely that one may spot a Mike as they rarely emerge from the dark dank recesses of their beds. There are several matings calls used by Mikes, which vary from the 'How I Met Your Mother' theme tune to the sound of the fridge door opening; more often than not, it is the sound of an unsuspecting taxpayer opening his/her wallet, or withdrawing money from a cashpoint which attracts a Mike to a prospective victim.
Person 1: Hey Mike, hows thi..
A Mike: YOU OWE ME £2.74!!!!!

Person 1: ings?

Person 1: I laughed so hard I shat myself
Person 2: Yeah it was so funny I Miked everywhere.

Person 1: Urgh, I had such a Mike day today
Person 2: What did you do?
Person 1: Played dead for 14 hours.
by Mike's housemate June 01, 2013
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84
Usually people with the name Mike are smokers, and have an unusually large supply of cigarettes on them at any one given point.
Friend 1: "Hey, I'm dying for a cigarette, I haven't had one in hours!"
Friend 2: " Well let's just go to the corner, I'm sure mike will give you one of his, he's got millions!"
by thekid121314 March 08, 2011
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