(Verb) to cockblock oneself unintentionally
Guy 1: Dude, how was last night with that girl?
Guy 2: It was bum, but my cat Miked me so damn hard like wtf.
by Gerwaq October 09, 2013

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Fuckin cheating dick heads
Ew look Bella look it's Mike.
by Franky July 20, 2016

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Mike is usually known to be a jerk. He especially likes to get in there mess things up and make his way out. Mike is often know to drive cars like Honda Civics to make up for lacking in other areas. Mike usually thinks he is the most amazing person in the world. Most people know to stay away from Mike. Mike is also know for being a douche bag.
Look at that jerk Mike.
via giphy
by Jdub2006 October 04, 2016

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A really cool person who makes everyone laugh and has many girls crushing on him
Person 1: "Yo dude who's that guy over there with all the girls?"
Person 2: "That's mike the coolest guy ever!"
by Coolio kiddio September 24, 2014

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A rare character defined by his colossal mass and wealth of useless information which covers every topic that you don't want to hear about. Talents include reciting entire URL addresses and quoting from 'How I Met Your Mother'. Despite his lack of ability with maths, Mikes in general are renowned for their superior skill in monitoring debts to the exact penny. Talents do not include knowing how to shit properly, a basic human function he seems to struggle with more than showering. This leads to a smell so pungent it could kill the smell of a dead animal, as well as said dead animal - which will probably have shit smeared on it, in the same fashion as his door/bathroom wall/bathroom door handle/everything in bathroom apart from bowl. Eating habits include everything that is processed and chemically engineered, although the species of Mike may occasionally advance to feasting upon 'peanut butter and jelly sandwiches', one of the many Americanisms he has adopted. Mikes may be falsely recognised as slugs, a species that share similar qualities with Mikes; however, it is unlikely that one may spot a Mike as they rarely emerge from the dark dank recesses of their beds. There are several matings calls used by Mikes, which vary from the 'How I Met Your Mother' theme tune to the sound of the fridge door opening; more often than not, it is the sound of an unsuspecting taxpayer opening his/her wallet, or withdrawing money from a cashpoint which attracts a Mike to a prospective victim.
Person 1: Hey Mike, hows thi..
A Mike: YOU OWE ME £2.74!!!!!

Person 1: ings?

Person 1: I laughed so hard I shat myself
Person 2: Yeah it was so funny I Miked everywhere.

Person 1: Urgh, I had such a Mike day today
Person 2: What did you do?
Person 1: Played dead for 14 hours.
by Mike's housemate June 01, 2013

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One of the most annoying and known trolls on Yahoo! Answers in the Polls & Surveys and occasionally the Religion & Spirituality section. He is known to answer every question with Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro in cap locks. He asks multiple questions about a sex tape the three were in with Miley Cyrus and asks where he could find it and how it's possible that they all had sex at the same time. He would often ask questions saying that Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro are at his house making too much noise making it impossible for him to fall asleep. He also often asks questions asking if Jack, Al and Robert are the best members of the band One Direction.
Mike's most asked questions:

"Where can I find the sextape of Miley Cyrus and Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino and Robert De Niro?"

"Is Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino and Robert De Niro the best members of One Direction?"

"Did Miley Cyrus like it when Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino and Robert De Niro had sex with her?"

"Is it true that Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino and Robert De Niro threw that water bottle at Justin Bieber at that one concert?"

"Who took Miley Cyrus' virginity first? Jack Nicholson or Al Pacino or Robert De Niro?"

"Robert De Niro farts in Jack Nicholson's and Al Pacino's soup?"

Mike's most popular answers:

"JACK NICHOLSON AND AL PACINO AND ROBERT DE NIRO SAID YOU WERE BLACK!!!"

"JACK NICHOLSON AND AL PACINO SAYS YES... ROBERT DE NIRO SAYS NO"

"JACK NICHOLSON AND AL PACINO ARE MEANIES... ROBERT DE NIRO IS ONLY A LITTLE MEAN BECAUSE HE FARTS ON MY FACE BUT STILL HE IS LESS MEAN SO THATS NICE"

"DID YOU KNOW MILEY CYRUS HAD A SEX TAPE WITH JACK NICHOLSON AND AL PACINO AND ROEBRT DE NIRO?"

"ROBERT DE NIRO FARTS IN JACK NICHOLSON'S AND AL PACINO'S SOUP AND MINE TOO"
by AN0NYMOVZ6912 July 05, 2012

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A female genitalia cleanser...
Mike's a douche...
by Dan Punk Rock France May 13, 2011

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