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69.
A rare character defined by his colossal mass and wealth of useless information which covers every topic that you don't want to hear about. Talents include reciting entire URL addresses and quoting from 'How I Met Your Mother'. Despite his lack of ability with maths, Mikes in general are renowned for their superior skill in monitoring debts to the exact penny. Talents do not include knowing how to shit properly, a basic human function he seems to struggle with more than showering. This leads to a smell so pungent it could kill the smell of a dead animal, as well as said dead animal - which will probably have shit smeared on it, in the same fashion as his door/bathroom wall/bathroom door handle/everything in bathroom apart from bowl. Eating habits include everything that is processed and chemically engineered, although the species of Mike may occasionally advance to feasting upon 'peanut butter and jelly sandwiches', one of the many Americanisms he has adopted. Mikes may be falsely recognised as slugs, a species that share similar qualities with Mikes; however, it is unlikely that one may spot a Mike as they rarely emerge from the dark dank recesses of their beds. There are several matings calls used by Mikes, which vary from the 'How I Met Your Mother' theme tune to the sound of the fridge door opening; more often than not, it is the sound of an unsuspecting taxpayer opening his/her wallet, or withdrawing money from a cashpoint which attracts a Mike to a prospective victim.
Person 1: Hey Mike, hows thi..
A Mike: YOU OWE ME £2.74!!!!!

Person 1: ings?

Person 1: I laughed so hard I shat myself
Person 2: Yeah it was so funny I Miked everywhere.

Person 1: Urgh, I had such a Mike day today
Person 2: What did you do?
Person 1: Played dead for 14 hours.
by Mike's housemate June 01, 2013
 
1.
The most amazing boy in the world. He is quiet around the masses but he opens up around the one he loves. He is extraordinarily protective in the best of ways. Mike can and will make you laugh harder than anyone else. He is the most adorable, cute, nice, sweet, kind, generous, loving, caring, genuine, funny, considerate, awesome person I have ever met. Every moment of my life would be better if I could spend it with him. I could talk to him all day long and we’d never run out of things to say. His smile can make my day; even if it’s from across the room. I love him more than the sun, I need him more than breath it’s self. I can’t imagine my life without him; it scares me more than anything. I will spend the rest of my life in his arms.
Me: Mike bought me a dozen roses for my birthday!
Best Friend: JEALOUS!
Me: What can I say, he's Mike.
by Your Emmie March 14, 2009
 
2.
the coolest kid you will ever meet, he also has a fairly large dick. he is liked by everyone
he look at the mike over there bet he has a big dick
by mike the barbarian October 15, 2008
 
3.
Mike is a great guy. I know many Mike's and most of them are very nice. I am going to marry one.

Also. The MOST common English Male Name.
I love you, Mike.

Hey Mike! How's it going?
by nightra February 26, 2009
 
4.
Mike ; synonym’s : “perfection” “godlike” “sexy” “ridiculously good in bed”

Commonly known as the most interesting man in the world, there is never a dull moment with a mike.
If I say more.. I might get wet. We’ll keep it nice and short.

I love mike so much, it makes me crazy
Last night was incredible .. i slept with mike.
by IloveMrPerfection December 13, 2011
 
5.
Mike is often found riding a giant Wildebeast, shooting cannon balls from his nipples and laser beams from his eyes. 99.9% of the time he is the most stunning looking man in the room. He is funny, sophisticated, and loves poon tang. He can kill you with just a look. Everyone wishes they had a friend like him. Mike can also blow your mind with his mind! Mike has the prettiest smile, a velvet touch, and a thick dick.
"holy balls my mind was Miked!"

"my vag has been sore all week because over the weekend, I got Miked so hard"
by thejunk47 February 02, 2010
 
6.
What you believe to be the average guy. But beneath this quiet boy, beyond what the eye can see, there lies a hero inside. One that if you get to know, can show you love, make you laugh, and give you a great time that no one else can do. Because make makes sure he does not become one person but is always evolving to connect to the one person he wants to share the moment with. Mike is a friend like no other, always putting himself second. Mike is only great because of the people around him, without those who make him great, he is nothing. He tries his hardest to make You happy. He gets down just like everyone else, but he always must make sure everyone around him is happy first. therefore, he makes a great party favor. A Mike will save the world.
"Mike will listen, I always know he always will".

"Hey invite mike!"
by M1ke C August 22, 2009
 
7.
Name is often referred to as 'God of the chinese'..

and i agree.
hey its mike. what a fucking legend!!!
by afjekhf December 15, 2008