God's only failed attempt at what could resemble a human. He must have been extremely drunk to even make that huge of an accident. His attitude towards his life is extremely fitting; he hates his life (which he should) but is too much of a coward to kill himself. The few friends he thought he had were actually only "friends" with him because of certain conditions. Now they're off the hook. Do not attempt to approach this failure in any sense of the word. If for some reason you want to stare in awe at his stupidity, he can be found on the online game S4 League. You have been warned.
Guy 1: "Hey, have you heard about Microbos?"
Guy 2: "You mean Micro-clit?"