One of the United States of America, 26th in the Union, with the longest freshwater shoreline in the entire world. Also, a person is never more than 6 miles from a natural water source, nor 85 miles from one of the Great Lakes. And most importantly, despite our tendency to truncate words, our accent forms what is called the "General American" dialect, or the one considered accent-less by the most people (although we do have some fun with words). Apparently, for people who can't spell, there are 23 different ways the residents of our state choose to spell its name. For what truly defines this state, I refer you below:
In MICHIGAN we have two seasons: WINTER, and CONSTRUCTION. 60 degree TEMPACHUR is occasion for shorts, T-shirts, and maybe a swim. We head UP NORTH to THE COTTAGE, which is anywhere north of the state's middle. The cottage is either some disintegrating cabin in the middle of BFE where we go to play EUCHRE, get drunk and THEN shoot deer; or it's a beach house that sleeps 22 and has its own marina. THE BEACH is Lake Michigan. THE LAKE is whichever Great Lake you are closest to. THE BRIDGE is MACKINAC and never ever pronounced "Mackinack." We have CIDDIES like GRARAPIDS, DihTROIH, Pah-NEEACK, BADDLE CRICK, an AnNARBOR. After coming home from THE PLANT we park our CAHRR in the GRAAGE and then pull A COLE ONE outta the FRIGERRAIDER. Otherwise we STAHP by the SEVENuhLeven an gedduh PAHP. Soda is something you bake with. We eat a SAMWICH, drink MELK, and have SHERBERT for dessert. We make a MICHIGAN LEFT and pass on the RIGHT. Driving the SPEED LIMIT warrants road rage. We blast through RUSH HOUR traffic at 85 mph past state troopers because they are looking for the guys doing 100. If we get pulled over we go to the SECRETARIAHSTATE. Our state bird is the MUSKEEDA which has been known to carry away cats and even small children. G's in verbs are always silent, R's are always hard, and we end our sentences with a PREPOSITION, like. T's in the middle of a word and not supported by another consonant are pronounced like a D, and when coupled with an "N", they get dropped like the useless energy-wasting consonants that they are.
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by Tim The Toolman Taylor March 29, 2008
"More jobs to be lost to Mexico."
"More people moving to the Sun Belt."
"The Big Three lose out to Toyota and the Japanese."
"The UAW announces yet again another strike at Saginaw's steering plant."
"Budget cuts force Detroit City Schools to announce another round of layoffs for teachers."
"Governor Granholm disappointed in the failed Cool Cities initiative."

Coming up at eleven.

Is michigan good for anything?
by goinggoinggone July 06, 2007
The glove the USA wears to wipe the dirty ass of Canada.
USA: Canada's ass is dirty again. Guess I'll have to put on my Michigan and clean it up for them.
by Dirty Jacksons April 15, 2009
The Great Lakes state. The Wolverine state. Located in the Upper Great Lakes region of the Midwest between 4 of the 5 Great Lakes. The weather sucks. It's too cold for much of the year and too humid in the summer. It is not uncommon in anywhere in Michigan to get some snow in May. There is hardly any sunlight. It's gray and overcast much of the time. If you want sunlight, go elsewhere. It ranks 8th in population with almost 10 million people but soon to be overshadowed by Georgia and North Carolina. Lansing is the capital and Detroit is its largest city. Other important population centers include Grand Rapids, Flint, Kalamazoo-Battle Creek and Ann Arbor. About half of the state lives in the Detroit metro area.

If you think your state sucks then look at this state. It has real problems. It was built on the auto industry and you can thank its large and antiquated labor unions such as the UAW and its Democrat money for ruining this state's economy. It has put all of its economic eggs in one basket (the auto industry) and has refused to diversify its economy. This has produced devastating effects: the brain drain, MI and Detroit has become the capital of the Rust Belt, Detroit is the fastest shrinking city in the country, Detroit and Michigan have lost the most jobs, has the country’s highest unemployment, the nation’s highest number of foreclosures and Detroit has more abandones strcutures than any U.S. city. Detroit’s “Big Three” have not been able to compete with the Japanese and have been responsible for many of Michigan’s layoffs. Buick once called Flint home but no more. Ransom Olds (Oldsmobile) used to call Lansing home, but no more. These companies closed up shop years ago and will NEVER return. Don’t get me started on the problems the auto industry has caused Detroit and most important MI cities: job losses, a population exodus, crime and blight. Comerica, a large bank even recently moved its HQ from Detroit to Texas. Detroit has lost over half of its population and is no longer one of America’s top ten largest cities. It will soon be passed in population by Indianapolis, Jacksonville Columbus and Austin. Detroit has become hell’s largest suburb and its corporate headquarters. These are the facts and if Michiganders don’t like then it’s time to change things. Things have gotten so bad for many of Michigan’s cities that Governor Jennifer Granholm initiated a failed “cool cities” initiative to attract young folk back to its cities. It will never work becuase once Michiganders graduate from college they usually leave this place. Who could blame them?

MI ranks high in agriculture production. Its largest agricultural products include cherries (Traverse City is the world’s cherry capital), Christmas trees, dairy products and cereal (Kellogs is based in Battle Creek).

The typical Michigan accent resembles a dialect from Wisconsin, Minnesota or Ontario. Words like “can” are pronounced as KEN. “Hike, bike and kite” are pronounced as HOYK, BOYK and KOYT. Even simple words like “milk” are pronounced as MELK. Many college football fans are divided in loyalty between the Michigan State Spartans and UM Wolverines. If you’re form Ohio, don’t dare come up to MI and insult the Wolverines. You will likely end up with a black eye, split lip or a busted tooth. This is a state where retired auto industry workers move to the Sun Belt or Northern Michigan for its outdoor opportunities in hunting, fishing, skiing or even snowmobiling. Michiganders will often make weekend trips to cabins or vacation homes in Northern Michigan. Many of its old farts in the north can't drive worth a dam. Some places are nice to visit. Mackinac Island (pronounced MAK-IN-AW) is popular. The world's largest Christmas store is located in Frankenmuth, known for its German heritage.

Michigan should just seceed from the U.S and become part of Ontario. There is nothing good about it unless you like being without a job. Michigan sucks in general and it is not surprising that its people are leaving for greener pastures. I hate Michigan and am glad I moved out. I should have moved out earlier.
Michigan sucks and deserves its title as the capital of the Rust Belt.
There is nothing good about Michigan unless you like hunting, fishing or snowmobiling. If you are looking for a job, go elsewhere. Michigan sucks in general and it is not surprising that its people are leaving for greener pastures. I hate Michigan and am glad I moved out. I should have moved out earlier
by krock1dk August 07, 2007
A lame state shaped like a mitten, surrounded by water, where not even the people that already live there want to live. Characterized by having record amounts of potholes, bipolar weather, contianing 2 of the top dangerous cities in America, no jobs, and a governor covered in moles.
Guy 1: I'm from Michigan.
Guy 2: Oh..that sucks.
by Michigander. May 25, 2009
one of the few states that completely blows....literally. its always down on its knees.. freebies all the time.

(see synonym: zach cawvey)

higher unemployment rate than national average, one of the top crime rates in america (but not the highest because we can't even do that right), and it snows here nearly 4 months out of the year...michigan does blow (like zach cawvey)
Ah Michigan...this state blows...but not as bad as Alaska
by alaska_sucks January 05, 2010
The Wolverine State. The capital of the Rust Belt. A Great Lakes state of the Upper Midwest, where the weather changes faster than a NY prostitute. The weather sucks big time. It's too cold for much of the year and too humid in the summer. It is not uncommon in anywhere in Michigan to get some snow in May. It can be 70-degrees one day and in the 50s and rainy the next. The skies are gray with overcast much of the time, making Michigan one of the states with the least amount of sunshine.

It currently ranks 8th in population with almost 10 million people, but will be passed soon by Georgia and North Carolina. Lansing is the capital and Detroit is its largest city. Other important population centers include Grand Rapids, Flint, Kalamazoo-Battle Creek and Ann Arbor. About half of the state lives in the Detroit metro area.

If you think your state has problems, try coming here. Michigan has serious problems and is experiencing a "one state" recession compared to the rest of the U.S., because it is controlled by the corrupt and anitquated labor unions of the auto industry, such as the UAW, and their Democrat money. It has refused to diverisfy its economy by placing all of its economic eggs in this industry alone. This has produced devastating effects: Michigan and Detroit have become the capital of the Rust Belt; the most job losses of any state and the highest unemployment rate as plants close, downsize or move to Mexico; people then move south or file for unemployment or transfer to plants out of state; the nation’s highest number of foreclosures; and a decline in population as people move elsewhere to find work. Things have gotten so bad for many of Michigan’s cities, that Governor Jennifer Granholm initiated a failed “cool cities” initiative to attract young folk back to its cities. It will never work because once Michiganders graduate from college, they usually leave this place. Who could blame them?

Outside its cornfields and declining Rust Belt cities, Michigan has some nice places, mostly in the far north Lower Peninsula and Upper Peninsula (which should belong to Wisconsin). The state is generally Dull with a capital-D with not much to do. However, Mackinac Island (pronounced MAC-IN-AW)is popular in the summer. Frankenmuth has the world's largest Christmas store and Detroit is only good for going to casinos and bars. OK, so Dearborn (a Detroit suburb) has Greenfield Village and Detroit is four professional sport teams, but the rest of the city is an urban nightmare and should almost be avoided at all costs.

Most Michiganders love to escape their "downstate" urban hell for their cabins or summer homes in Northern Michigan. Northern Michigan is good for hunting, fishing, skiing and going to the lake. Michiganders talk with a funny accent that resembles a northern dialect heard in Wisconsin, Minnesota or Ontario. Michiganders can't drive worth a damb and usually speed on the freeway as if they were in the Indy 500. Other than that, Michiganders have Midwest values and are generally friendly when compared to either coast.
Michigan is generally dull with not many good paying jobs anymore, but it is NOT the worst state to live in compared to those Great Plains States.
by krock1dk February 05, 2008
The Great Lakes state. The Wolverine state. Located in the Upper Great Lakes region of the Midwest between 4 of the 5 Great Lakes. The weather sucks. It's too cold for much of the year and too humid in the summer. It is not uncommon in anywhere in Michigan to get some snow in May. There is hardly any sunlight. It's gray and overcast much of the time. If you want sunlight, go elsewhere. It ranks 8th in population with almost 10 million people but soon to be overshadowed by Georgia and North Carolina. Lansing is the capital and Detroit is its largest city. Other important population centers include Grand Rapids, Flint, Kalamazoo-Battle Creek and Ann Arbor. About half of the state lives in the Detroit metro area.

If you think your state sucks then look at this state. It has real problems. It was built on the auto industry and you can thank its large and antiquated labor unions such as the UAW and its Democrat money for ruining this state's economy. It has put all of its economic eggs in one basket (the auto industry) and has refused to diversify its economy. This has produced devastating effects: MI and Detroit has become the capital of the Rust Belt, it has lost the most jobs, has the country’s highest unemployment, the nation’s highest number of foreclosures and the brain drain. Detroit’s “Big Three” have not been able to compete with the Japanese and have been responsible for many of Michigan’s layoffs. Buick once called Flint home but no more. Ransom Olds (Oldsmobile) used to call Lansing home, but no more. These companies closed up shop years ago and will NEVER return. Don’t get me started on the problems the auto industry has caused Detroit and most important MI cities: job losses, a population exodus, crime and blight. Comerica, a large bank even recently moved its HQ from Detroit to Texas. Detroit has lost over half of its population and is no longer one of America’s top ten largest cities. It will soon be passed in population by Indianapolis, Jacksonville Columbus and Austin. Detroit has become hell’s largest suburb and its corporate headquarters. These are the facts and if Michiganders don’t like then it’s time to change things. Things have gotten so bad for many of Michigan’s cities that Governor Jennifer Granholm initiated a failed “cool cities” initiative to attract young folk back to its cities. It will never work becuase once Michiganders graduate from college they usually leave this place. Who could blame them?

MI ranks high in agriculture production. Its largest agricultural products include cherries (Traverse City is the world’s cherry capital), Christmas trees, dairy products and cereal (Kellogs is based in Battle Creek).

The typical Michigan accent resembles a dialect from Wisconsin, Minnesota or Ontario. Words like “can” are pronounced as KEN. “Hike, bike and kite” are pronounced as HOYK, BOYK and KOYT. Even simple words like “milk” are pronounced as MELK. Many college football fans are divided in loyalty between the Michigan State Spartans and UM Wolverines. If you’re form Ohio, don’t dare come up to MI and insult the Wolverines. You will likely end up with a black eye, split lip or a busted tooth. This is a state where retired auto industry workers move to the Sun Belt or Northern Michigan for its outdoor opportunities in hunting, fishing, skiing or even snowmobiling. Michiganders will often make weekend trips to cabins or vacation homes in Northern Michigan. Many of its old farts in the north can't drive worth a dam. Some places are nice to visit. Mackinac Island (pronounced MAK-IN-AW) is popular. The world's largest Christmas store is located in Frankenmuth, known for its German heritage.

There is nothing good about Michigan unless you like being without a job. Michigan sucks in general and it is not surprising that its people are leaving for greener pastures. I hate Michigan and am glad I moved out. I should have moved out earlier.
Michigan sucks and deserves its title as the capital of the Rust Belt.
by krock1dk August 07, 2007

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