(aka: Gilligan. Wile E. Coyote.)
1. n. Former head of Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA). FEMA (aka: Federal Excessive Masturbation Autocracy.)
2. n. Former Arabian horse inseminator. (ie-technician who pulls the dong of an Arabian stallion, and then injects the effluent into the cooch of the mare for purposes of pedigree horse breeding. (See: splooge broker.)
3. n. Former splooge broker to President George W Bush. (See patronage appointments.)
4. n. (generic) Any man bearing a strong resemblance to a large slug or turtle, who frequently uses the term ‘balls to the wall.’ Any mollusk-like individual obsessed with balls.
5. n. (generic) A paunchy fashion god of the LLBean type. Any flabby middle-aged caucasian male who believes that rolling up his sleaves makes him appear macho and decisive, despite massive evidence to the contrary (see George W Bush, Dick Cheney, James Earl Carter.)
6. n. (slang: brown bag) A douche bag. An enema bag.
7. n. (generic) A whiner. One who whines, and blames others/everybody for his mistakes. (See stool pigeon.)
8. n (generic) A fall guy. (See Admiral Husband Kimmell.)
9. n. (generic) A scape goat used to draw attention away from a systematic government failure of massive proportions.
10. n. (sports) A coach. (ie-the act of firing the coach of a professional sporting team because it is impossible to fire the owner. See George Steinbrener.)
v. to brown:
1. v. To whine. To blame others for one’s own mistakes.
2. v. To fail miserably at a task, usually as a result of total ineptitude, incomptetence and indecisiveness. To make a bad situation worse through incompetence. (see: cockup, clusterfuck, hump the bunk, fuck the dog.)
3. v. the act of answering urgent emails with ridiculous understatements, suggesting that the recipient did not understand the gravity of the message. (ie-Message: “The 9th ward levy just broke, and New Orleans is under 18 feet of water!” Reply: “Thanks for the update. I’ll start looking for an alternate supplier of mardi gras beads.”)
“Boy did I ever michael brown that job up!”
“Be sure to pack the brown bag for the trip to Mexico. We might need it if we get a case of Montezuma’s revenge.”
Also gave $30 Million to Miami after Hurricane Francis, even though Francis never hit Miami.
Before being appointed FEMA director... Brown was the Judges and Stewards Commissioner for the International Arabian Horse Association, (IAHA), from 1989-2001, which George W. Bush (of course) thought qualified him to be the FEMA director.
"Michael Brown sucks at managing FEMA"
-"dunno, must be a michael brown!"