Similar to Birkenstocks, Merkinstocks are sandals made from pubic wigs. They are designed to warm the feet and provide a unique new look for the fashionable individual.
"Becky, check out Ashley's Merkinstocks."
"I know! They're so flashy! What a whore!"
Produced in Germany, this Bavarian wonder was concocted for hobbits with inclinations for podiatric balding; equipped with a cork bottom it not only keeps a hobbit's feet stylish, but protected.
It's not the size of the merkinstocks that matters, it's how you use them.
Those is some dank 'stocks.