8
To perform some activity, typically IT related, where performing the activity gives the performer almost sexual pleasure while doing it, yet nothing of any value or lasting value is produced. Mental masturbation is reasonably acceptable in the privacy of the performer's home, but not on their employer's time. Mental masturbation may be the reason for overly complicated and hard to understand solutions being implemented in one company, despite simpler and more commonly understood solutions being used at a number of other companies in the same industry.
To workmate, on Monday morning, "Guess what I did over the weekend! I rewrote Linux in FORTAN! Cool huh!"
Workmate, unimpressed, "That sounds like mental masturbation to me."
by Shylock Merchant September 30, 2006
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9
This is usually announced or thought of after seeing a girl who is distractingly attractive. The act of explaining you like the looks of a girl enough to masturbate too.
See, she's hot dude I'm going to ask her out.

Yea I'm masturbating in my head to her.

I fucking hate you.

I'm still masturbating in my head to her. Still not done, not done, Alright I'm done. I'm going to go make a sandwich. Good Mental Masturbation. Actually, you want to go to Chipotle?

Not with you.

Thats douchey.
by gordon getty November 13, 2011
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10
The act of looking up the term "Mental Masturbation". You should have better things to do. Now go do it! Geez!!!
I knew I was wasting time thinking about things that didn't amount to anything useful. So I wondered if I was the only. I looked up "Mental Masturbation" and confirmed it.
by XAlterEgoX December 13, 2015
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11
The act of engaging in impractical/nonproductive mental exercise/thinkings/writings through which a practitioner only comforts oneself mentally. Such acts don't lead to any constructive results what so ever in the real world; some might even imagine oneself being transformed into superman, or simply the opposite sex, etc.
In short, it's just bs/crap.
Example1:
Guy1: My boyfriend went abroad so I can take over all his stuff and start anew.
Guy2: Dude, you're the same person all along; stop that mental masturbation and get the hell out of my sight.

Example2:
Guy1: I think biological evolution is bull, but mankind can evolve to become God.
Guy2: Dude, you're all fucked up; you can go on with your mental masturbation, but stop bordering me anymore.
by lionhead May 25, 2007
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12
1. In academics it is the practice of using faulty premises to draw a conclusion.

2. The pretense of superior knowledge or intelligence by claiming conjecture, theory, feeling or opinion as fact.
The facts used to describe the cause of Global warming is an exercise in mental masturbation.
by unlending May 08, 2009
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13
The act of figuring out why the world is fucked up, but that you can't do anything about it... but bitch and moan!!!

See Intellectual Jizz
I know what to do about the middle east situation

Dude stop. That is just Mental Masturbation.
by Equites April 09, 2004
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14
v. the act of masturbating with and only with your mind, totally not sexy
Oh man, performed some mental masturbation last night releasing mind bullets on my couch
by MattyN February 03, 2006
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