noun: Used to refer to a penis of a rather small nature. Typically found in males.
Girl: "Ughh, I hate having sex with Jeremy. He has such a melvin."
Other Girl: "Oh well you know what they always say. Size clearly matters".
by cbreezy32 May 12, 2014

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An ordinary mushroom, no more, no less.
The Viscount and Tabasco supped at the meatball place, and had many melvins, which went together well with the hourse port.
by chasethedoor January 29, 2014

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A type of person, the melvin (noun) is half characterized physically, and half emotionally and by their demeanor. It should not be confused with a nerd, geek, or a person, because it does not have a soul.

The debate of whether one is born a melvin or it is an onset condition still rages on. Most research shows that melvins were actually born with souls, but through their incessant self-pity and self-loathing and miserable lives, they actually exile their own souls from their very bodies, which i will describe next.
(Essentially, they are born with souls, but their terrible genetic features lead them to certain doom, and thus the condition is in genetic limbo.)

The melvin form employs the most unfortunate of human physiques. The melvin is a physically (as well as mentally) feeble person, down to his lack of sufficient muscle tissue, weak bones, small frame, and feeble voice. The melvin has pathetic, sloping shoulders and disproportionally short arms, that broadcast his lack of confidence and competence. Baby fat (not to be confused with fun fat - which has at least one merit) is present in many melvins, but is not essential to melvinhood. Often it occurs only in the midsection, leaving short skinny limbs and face, giving a physique similar to McDonald's "Grimace" character, the big limbless purple thing with a hooker addiction.

Melvins are typically worthless members of society, as they spend most of their time whining, pitying themselves, and sucking at life.

some refer to the female version as a "she-melvin."
These tend to be more rare, and as the gender line can be very hazy with melvins, it is safest to stick to the simple "melvin" nomenclature.

The adjective form, "melviny," is also appropriate in describing such characters.

pop culture references:
South Park season 3 episode 8, "Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub." Stan is forced to play with some melvins at an adult meteor shower party.
Steve: Dude, that guy really must suck at life.

Dave: Yeah, he was so pathetic that I don't even feel bad, because he felt bad enough for himself for all of us.

Steve: Yeah. Textbook melvin....
by saltybawls June 25, 2009

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A lucky strike in bowling
That last strike was a f***ing melvin
by MPH25 August 23, 2008

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A severely odd and uncool person.
A wimp or a tool.
Mom, why do I have to play in the marching band? All the band kids are frickin' Melvins.
by The Wonderboy August 06, 2005

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A nerd who does weird and random things for no reason.
Did you really sit around home last weekend? your such a melvin.
by tommy dizzle May 09, 2005

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A very seductive and suave man who attracts foxy honeys. Known to make women orgasm with a wink. A monster in everything he does. A god in bed. Funniest person around. Pops cherries with his sexy stare.
by tera baap chor hai March 29, 2010

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