Engaged in a constant battle of superiority with Sydney, that most likely started when they were choosing the capitol city of Australia. (Neither won.)
Probably most know for its enthusiastic population of AFL supporters. (Avoid Collingwood fans)
Friggin hot in Summer, if you go bring an air conditioner.
If you are American you will be tempted to pronounce it 'Mel-buuuuuuurn.' Please don't.
Guy 2: "Dude, look out for those bogan Collingwood supporters"
Guy 1: "Sure thing!"
*manly hug and clap each other's backs*
Person B: Melbourne.
Person A: Oh jeez. Melbourne is so shit compared to Sydney. You guys are insecure so you have to explain why you're better than us.
Person B: No, we're just better. We have better food, we're the sporting capital of Australia, we have a richer history, prettier women. Why is Sydney so great?
Person A: There's nothing to do in Melbourne.
Person B: What the fuck can you do in Sydney that you can't do in Melbourne?
Consequently there are more coffee machines per square metre than anywhere else in the universe.
Melbourne person: Just sit & have a coffee & read the paper. What do you do?
Sydney person: Oh I go surfing, fishing, scuba diving, bushwalking...
Especially in sports and entertainment.
Melbourne is the capital of Victoria, with currently 3.8 million people. It is set to overtake Sydney as Australias largest city in 2028.
it is so much better then Sydney, which is so congested and full of homos (literally - its got the most homos of any other city in Australia). Sydneysiders often bag Melbourne for being 'wet' when in fact Melbourne has less rain then sydney - its true!
"Adelaide is such a hole... i wish i lived in Melbourne"
All they do is talk themselves up and bitch about Adelaide and Sydney. Every good thing about Melbourne is stolen and copied from elsewhere, yet they claim full credit. This city has delusions of grandeur.
Melbourne is akin to a person born ugly, talentless and boring who then has non stop plastic surgery. Then lies, cheats and steals personality traits and life stories from others. All for the purpose of wanting everyone to think they are "the shit"
Its just a sad wannabe city...
It wants to be Adelaide but bigger and hipper than Sydney with a clean river like Perth.
Ad: Thats why you copy or steal every single idea and creation Adelaide comes up with, right?
Vic: Fuck you. Sydney is too big and overrated, Melbourne is more laid back and beautiful.
Syd: Thats why you are trying to BE us, always nipping at our heels, right?
Vic: Fuck you. Hobart sounds like fart.
Hob: You are running on empty.
Vic: Fuck all of you, we invented football.
Brissy: You Corrupted football. Theres only one real state of origin now.
Vic: Fuck rugby. We have Rove.
Perth: Actually, thats our fault.
Demographic; moisturising, manscaping, sandal wearing metrosexual pseudo fags.
A town where a broke as fuck 30 year old uni student wearing a skivvy with sandals is held in higher esteem than an accomplished and successful tradesman,
Spiritual home of the Bogan,
A stinking filthy river flowing through the guts of it,
The people from there claim to be well educated, cultured and globally aware but all they seem to do is bitch and moan about others, narcissism reigns supreme.
In a nutshell the only two good things about Melbourne are Carlton Draught and the Hume Hwy northbound.
"Dont walk around in Melbourne alone at night, you'll get glassed by bogans or robbed by a junkie".