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1.
A complicated and dangerous sexual event in which the woman lies prone on the bed while the man dresses up like D'Artagnan from the Three Musketeers. The man then gets into an 18-wheeler with a Shawn Michaels dildo taped to the front bumper. After estimating the correct trajectory, the man will aim his heavenly missile at the house and not cease until he has achieved either penetration or a total property loss.

In the meantime, the woman is high on a cocktail of ecstasy and psilocybin mushrooms and is roused by the sound of repeated gongs.

There must be a lawyer, doctor, and qualified mechanic present.
"What in the heavenly fuck was that noise last night?!"
"Dad gave Mom a McBunga for their anniversary. Consequently, we have no place left to live. Mind if I crash with you for awhile?"
by Abdallah Price October 21, 2011