|1.||Mauled by Bears|
What God wants to happen to every child who mocks a priest, as taken directly from His Word in the bible.
If ever you should speak ill of a clergyman, God is totally cool with you getting mauled by bears. Even if you're only eleven years old and self-conscious because your dick hasn't gotten any bigger yet.
2 Kings 2:23-24 NKJV
Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the LORD. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.