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36.
Manual stimulation of one's own genitals for pleasure, usually but not always to the point of orgasm. While views on the subject differ greatly among various groups, it is generally viewed as an activity whose primary purpose and effect is self-gratification; hence the term (or its synonyms, particularly 'wanking') is commonly used as a pejorative metaphor for other activities that are viewed by the speaker as accomplishing nothing besides self-gratification, such as self-aggrandizing internet trolling or focusing one's study on certain poorly defined subjects or doctrines, particularly in the Humanities.
"Post-modernism is intellectual masturbation, plain and simple!"
"Wanking: Making self-congratulary comments intended only to give an impression of your importance or intelligence." (Pharyngula dungeon page)
by Azkyroth December 26, 2007
81 40
 
1.
The act of touching oneself to produce a favorable feeling in the groin area. Usually accompanied by some sort of mental, visual, or audio stimulation to assist in reaching climax.

jerking off; spit-shining the old water pump; waxing the brass candlestick; beating off; playing cards with only one hand on the table; riding the quarter-horse; joining the mile-high club, solo-aviator division; giving in to the hand police; self-actualization; fully realizing your potential
No honey, I don't want to tonight, I'm tired from watching Oprah. Why don't you just go masturbate?

That dumb broad got me all worked up and left me; so I had to spit-shine the old water pump manually if ya know what I mean.

Sometimes, when I wake up, I have an erection, so I have to beat off until it goes away. Sometimes, it comes back so I beat off again until it goes away. Once, it kept coming back so I just chopped it off. It hurt bad.
by jeffro February 25, 2003
9227 3045
 
2.
Mass murder of millions of tiny defenseless sperm.
If hitler was into masturbation instead of murder all the millions of deaths would not upset the world.
by Michael............... March 23, 2006
8447 3112
 
3.
The act of sexualy pleasing oneself, usually to orgasm.
Masturbation is the best exercise I get all day!
by Nick November 10, 2002
5078 2184
 
4.
Manual stimulation of the penis of vagina to produce a stimulation simular to actual penetration by a member of the opposite sex.

It's something most of us have been caught doing, never admit to doing, and know full well that everyone else does.
Woody Allen: "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone that I love."
by fetusboy September 16, 2005
3862 1995
 
5.
"Practise sex"
If masturbation were a sport, I'd be a jock.
by LORD HELL FEAR BLOOD March 16, 2003
3727 1904
 
6.
something guys cannot get out of habbit.
Time for my daily jerk!
3446 1766
 
7.
Playing solo on one's organs.
by Anonymous March 09, 2003
3064 1575