Sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977
by mandingoe November 07, 2005
The act of rubbing one's own penis, until orgasm. It is common to use lotion for lubrication and/or extra pleasure, but it dries your penis out. Instead, you should use water-based lubricates.
Jason loves to masturbation. He masturbates in the shower for hours because he's a horny mess
by Ripe Cheese July 10, 2008
The simplest, cheapest, safest and most practiced kind of sex.
Enjoyed by pretty much anyone in the world
Masturbation is good for prostate health
by Bangbangpewpew December 16, 2010
Masturbation is the sexual stimulation sport of one's own genitals, usually to the point of orgasm. The stimulation can be performed using the hands, fingers, everyday objects, or dedicated sex toys.

Male masturbation techniques are influenced by a number of factors and personal preferences. Techniques may also differ between males who have been circumcised and those who have not. Some techniques which may work for one individual can be difficult or uncomfortable for another.

The most common male masturbation technique is simply to hold the penis with a loose fist and then to move the hand up and down the shaft. This type of stimulation is typically all that is required to achieve orgasm and ejaculation. The speed of the hand motion will vary from person to person, although it is not uncommon for the speed to increase as ejaculation nears and for it to decrease during the ejaculation itself.
It was gym class, and our gym teacher, a midriff baring coach named Jamie, wanted us to do some masturbation exercises. We all took off our clothes, including me. As we lied down on the gym floor naked, my penis began to relax, sway back and forth, and stiffen. Until finally, it got a powerful erection sticking straight up. Then, Jamie handed us some small balls to balance on our penises, similar to a sea lion balancing a beach ball on its snout. Then, Jamie stated to count down from ten to zero. Once she reached zero, she blew her whistle and my penis threw back its head, released the ball, and I began masturbating it. It felt so good. I gritted my teeth as Jamie continued blowing her whistle at me. My penis became coated with precum. The more Jamie blew her whistle, the more harder I masturbated. I started feeling my orgasm build up with every second. My member felt swollen and heavy as his load built up in the head. The other naked boys gathered around Coach Jamie as I finally let out a deep moan like a sea lion. And my hard-on ejaculated a flow of hot white semen that splashed against the floor. My penis bobbed up and down as a few more spurts of semen shot out, then slumped down into my lap. Then, the class cheered and Jamie blew her whistle as I opened my eyes and looked around. I stood up slowly, and Jamie gave me a gold medal for "Being the Best at Masturbation." Then, she gave me a towel so I can wipe off the semen from my penis and the floor.
by VBruno January 05, 2014
pleasure acquired from the act of touching ones own privates.
text message
female: have you ever had masturbation frustration?

male: stoking my penis..
female: palming my clit naked on my bed. my legs are open.
male: good girl. how would you treat my johnny if you were here?
female: i'd suck you dry...

male: ooo? then you deserve a palm job till you squirt.
female: mm i like your big hands.
by naughtygirl November 17, 2013
slamming the noodle
tickling the hoe
cooking the turkey
Gabby's tickling the hoe with Luke masturbation.
Beka's cooking the turkey with Danielmasturbation.
by mikeikes June 03, 2009
One of the most popular ways of entertaintme today, among internet, videogames and television.
I stay home today, but I had fun anyway... masturbation? nah I dont that...
by Toronto Raptors January 26, 2008
The act of self stimulation by stroking, rubbing, or pulling your genitals. Men usually rub, sometimes women will buy dildos or finger themselves. Masturbation can result in ejaculation if the person is stimulated enough. Men/women usually perform this act when intercourse is not an option.
For people with small brains:Masturbation is touching your penis to make it feel good, or for women sticking their fingers in their vaginas.
Guy 1:Sheila is too tired to have sex, and I'm bored.
Guy 2:Why don't you try masturbation?
Guy 1:Isn't that for complete losers?
Guy 2:No dude, it's completely normal and healthy.
Guy 1:I might try it, then.
by Maximizer August 05, 2012
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