Sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977
by mandingoe November 07, 2005
The act of cumming onto one's keyboard after watching a porn video clip.
"Oh damn now I have to clean my keyboard because of my masturbation."
by Maximus Cox December 20, 2007
Manual stimulation of one's own genitals for pleasure, usually but not always to the point of orgasm. While views on the subject differ greatly among various groups, it is generally viewed as an activity whose primary purpose and effect is self-gratification; hence the term (or its synonyms, particularly 'wanking') is commonly used as a pejorative metaphor for other activities that are viewed by the speaker as accomplishing nothing besides self-gratification, such as self-aggrandizing internet trolling or focusing one's study on certain poorly defined subjects or doctrines, particularly in the Humanities.
"Post-modernism is intellectual masturbation, plain and simple!"
"Wanking: Making self-congratulary comments intended only to give an impression of your importance or intelligence." (Pharyngula dungeon page)
by Azkyroth December 26, 2007
The act of pleasuring yourself. Self-sex, its like training for actual sex.Jacking off.

For a man stroking, rubbing, or even slapping the erect penis, for a women, rubbing the vagina with the two front fingers, or even lodging a penis shaped item such as a dildo in it.

There are terms such as;

Buff the Bananna
Spank the Frank
Stroke the one-eyed snake
beat the meat
Hold your sausage hostage
choke the chicken
Rub the Robin
Box the cock
Invade your pants with a five fingered army
Crank the Shank
Crown the King
Fondle the Fig
Jerk the Gerk
Tug the Tiger
Hand to Gland Combat.

As for women;

Vagina Dj
Taco Handshake
Play the Clitar
shuck the oyster
pressing the escape button
Tapping the keg
cleaning your fingers
the two finger tengo
I just love the art of masturbation, it feels amzaing!
by The KockKing May 03, 2011
the act of physically pleasuring one's genitals with the desired result of achieving climax, a physical and mental state of pleasure and euphoria which is usually accompanied, though not by necessity, by an ejaculation and/or satisfaction or by a diminishing of desire for further immediate sexual conduct, this feeling and/or the act of ejaculation are usually universally refrenced as cumming (to cum) or ograsming (to orgasm, to have an orgasm).
I enjoyed a sesh of masturbation for three hours yesterday, but because I didnt cum I climaxed five times!
by allaboutthemountains November 17, 2009
the act of pleasing thy self with sexual alone time by forcing massive ejaculation.
Mike performed masturbation on his bed conforter & it left a stain(the stain is still there,true story.)
by Mike_Coolman104 June 19, 2009
when you touch you dick or vagina and rub your dick up and own to get a sensational feeling. you sometimes ejaculate semen. it is perfectly normal.
masturbation is great
by chill_dude98 May 25, 2010
the art of pleasure.
I was feeling so horny after i saw that girl fucking on tv, masturbation was in order.
I began to rub.. slowly at first, gradually getting faster, faster, FASTER.. until OH!! OH!! OH FUCK! OH!!
and thus the art of pleasure was done.
by hornyfuckingbiatch March 14, 2009
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