Sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977
by mandingoe November 07, 2005
the act of fucking yourself thus stimulating the genetails mainly
fuck iam the master of masturbation
oh fuck yes give me tugjob
fuck you and fuck off its a joke
just give me a handjob
fuck off
by Jackroll April 02, 2006
When a chick is sooo bad at the art of fucking that it's like masturbating while working out abs.
This intriguing phenomenon may also occur if she looks like a fish and smells like one too!
Me: Shit man! That cunt faced bitch was such a gimp! Felt like masturbation last night!

My friend: Duude! Kill her I say!
by Ultra-Ex July 12, 2008
The act of 'touching' oneself in order to feel 'pleasure'. Something only done by the very lonely and desperate. One of the least attractive things one can possibly do.
Guy: Hey. I tried to work on my masturbation problem.... I couldn't resist the urges.

Girl: -gags and resists puking- ehhhhh.... you must be so lonely. No wonder you can't get a friggin girlfriend.

Guy: Dammit
by lilcurlytopUSA March 29, 2010
something people do when their lover is not around
by Anonymous March 27, 2003
What nerds are known for
While everyone is out having sex, I'm sitting at home practicing chronic masturbation to my character's gear on World of Warcraft
by Lord Razzola April 07, 2008
The act of when a shemale ties a rope around their penis, attaches a magnet to the other end of the rope, places a larger magnet in their vagina, and then places the rope magent inside the vagina too. Causing one to fuck themselves.
I learned about masturbation in health class, it's funny!
by hoochapig October 05, 2007
1) Something 11-17 year old guys do because they don't have anyone to have sex with.

2) Something you watch your sister do after she showers

3) A way to get the erection you get every mourning to go away

4) For men, using your hand to cause an orgasm

5) The only sleep over game for boys other than hand jobs.

6) The favorite activity of my both me and my six year old brother.
Jack sat in his room his room, practicing his favorite sport, masturbation, rubbing his hand up and down his cock until his sister walked in and gave him a new means of pleasure.

Dan could withstand the movie's sex scene any loner. He whipped out his pecker and started to masturbate

Brian gave me 510 bucks to let him film me masturbating
by Penusus, The God of Sex September 21, 2006

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